RE: the question: ":Why do forum interactions become contentious". . .


I've just had a very unexpected and very unpleasant PM from a forum participant. 

He'd been suggesting I buy a certain component  and I told him politely that I didn't visualize that particular purchase fitting in with my long-range plans.  

His response was to accuse me of wasting everyone's time and to call me an "effing idiot" (except he spelled "effing" correctly). 

The great majority of interactions I've had here have been very enjoyable and recent input from
more experienced forum members has helped greatly in clarifying my plan for the next upgrade cycle. 

The thread on lesser-know Jazz has been great-- lots of participation and lots of terrific suggestions. 

Nevertheless, I've decided to take a break. 

Best regards,

Stuartk



stuartk
I think it is a shame if you let one clown spoil it for you. Ignore him and he will turn his attention to someone else and hopefully get more than he bargained for.
@jim204:

Thanks for your kind words.

I've got some health issues at present and taking some time off feels like the best course for now. 


Good luck to you and may you find solace in your music. Jim.
stuartk

Find Peace and Solace in the Music.  Be well.

Happy Listening!
stuartk,
Click on your Profile, click Edit Account, click Security, enter the person’s name and block any further massages from them.
Best to you and take care.

This SITE is effed. 

I go on headfi and people are very polite, respectful and cordial. However, the vitriol and rudeness displayed in a lot of these threads is unbelievable.
What planet do you live on?

I swear to Christ you’ve lost your freaking mind.
You mean like this post?
That you recently wrote?
Careful what one says, or the useful tool shovels will appear 
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

How about I refresh your memory with one of your prior posts!

Hint: expand your thinking from two to three dimensions.
@bslon  
Does this feature also eliminate having to read someones post in the forums?
Post removed 
Sad state of affairs, hope your health improves!
Contentious is the theme of the day (month, year). Be thankful this is online and not in person as idiots have taken to physically attacking others when they disagree. Monkey-see, monkey-do for the simple minded.

All the best,
Nonoise
Take a break you'll miss nothing!!
"...Contentious is the theme of the day..."

Did you pay for the full hour of contentious or just a half hour? 
@stuartk  Very understandable to take a break. Anger management needs to be taught alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Did you pay for the full hour of contentious or just a half hour?
If John Cleese and Eric Idle were paid a nickel for every time that's been used.....


I offer my prayer for your health...

My best to you....
I would contact Tammy regarding the offensive PM.
No one should be subjected to such behaviour.
B
Sending good vibes to help restore your health...
It's always nice to be nice....even if we don't agree.  One of the issues with any hobby is the passion people have for it....tends to lead to strong emotions.   

In this case, it sounds like the offender was just outta line.  It happens, its unfortunate, it'll pass.   
Unfortunately a--holes are everywhere! My prayers for your health and enjoy your listening endeavors my friend!
Don’t take the view point of one Effin idiot discourage you from 
the many positive view points , nothing is perfect on earth and never will be ,just sit back and enjoy your 🎶 music !!
"Why can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King
Good idea to take a break, and good luck with your challenges.  I get positive energy when I focus on the activities and people that I most enjoy.
Move on my friend and stick with it. As in life there are many people here that are fantastic contributors and very knowledgeable . Then you have the others..
StuartK get well soon.  You still have much to contribute.  In kindergarten we were taught 'if you can't say something nice, say nothing'.  Last month, I got a filthy PM from worstblahlah, it was offensive, condescending, etc.  Now he, she, it are no longer on this platform-go figure.  Life is full of mosquito bites.
I guess it's something we are passionate about, but also it can become personal.  It's like asking people what is the best car, they invariably tell you it's the one they bought or whatever you do don't buy the one I bought. Either way if you ignore their advice they may well see it as a personal slight, same with hifi. But today there is just too much choice for anyone to be right about the  'best' product. I have friends who love Klipsch, I keep trying every time I get chance to listen to them with different amps etc, but they always sound bad (and that's me being diplomatic). I like McIntosh but wouldn't buy at the price  the ask. I have a friend with McIntosh / Klipsch system and avoid the whole hifi discussion. To each his own I suppose.
I've had a couple similar experiences in the forums. I'm accusing no one, but I encourage everyone to remember that passion for this hobby is not a license to treat others disrespectfully. Some people know more than others about certain things, but they are not necessarily the people who believe they know more than others.
Unfortunately that’s human nature on social media where interaction is hidden behind a keyboard.
I wonder if the interface was changed to zoom or some such where real people can be seen, behaviour would be more respectful.AG. 🇦🇺
I suspect a mass Zoom forum would still have the 'chaos factor' involved.  That, and a major 'hit' on the AG server....;)
I'm sorry this happened to you. Remember that most people are not that rude. I am also sorry about your health issues. Take a break if you want to, listen to some music. Music is the best!

Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.
- Frank Zappa
We'll "see" you when you come back.
It's so OFFENSIVE I can't even begin to explain.

Personal Messaging as we all know is a sanctuary from prying eyes. To do such a thing is premeditated, calculated and cowardly!

We are creatures of habit, so those who act out in such a way on forums, also act out similar in the outside world. It's a personality trait from environment and or upbringing, not always but in most cases. Not much one can do. Here our only defense weapon is words and thank heavens.

Now does anyone here need to borrow a shovel, if you get my drift!

Take as much time off as needed Stuartk

@dwmaggie, why am I not surprised 

 
@stuartk
Don’t let a few jerks spoil your enjoyment. Hope you come back soon - we need more "considerate, respectful, thoughtful" folks on this forum so that we can all benefit.

Often, it’s surprising how narrow minded some folks are in this forum. Many of the contentious posts are from people who think that their truth is the truth for all. In fact, it’s not their truth but their perception. Everybody’s perception, preferences, hearing, audio chain, room modes, power quality, transparency, noise floor, etc etc is non-identical, so it’s evident that what one experience may not be the same for others. Like most men think their driving is above average, I think many audiophiles think their hearing is superior - this means many are overestimating their sonic acuity. The best we can conclude is that if enough voices say that a component performs a certain way, then chances are the component will perform similarly in one’s own system - there are no guarantees. This includes cables. Speaking of cables, there also seems to be an immature resentment of the high prices thus a few folks become anti-cable spending ignoring the performance improvements that better cabling provides. Many of these folks rationalize that it must be a placebo ignoring testimonies - placebos don’t work this way and people aren’t easily fooled when parting with significant money, in fact I’d argue that discernment increases with increasing cash outlays.

Also, there seems to be animosity towards MC on this forum. People with hair triggers waiting to jump on MC, although MC seems to provoke sometimes as well. I strongly suspect that the vitriol on this forum regarding Tekton speakers is directly related to resentment of MC who seems to default to only Tekton speakers and Raven amplifiers as the best answer when in fact there are many preferences and ways to achieve superior sonics.
I've been on audiogon since founding, this forum has evolved/devolved just as forums in general. There's always been differences of opinion, in years past certain decorum expected of people, little bad language, much fewer personal attacks. Those days seem 'Victorian', a time when people may have held great malice, but held the tongue. I suppose that's considered bad for one's psychology today, let it all out today, cleanse the soul. something like scream therapy. I'd expect more of the PM attacks in future, likely to go off into threatening people with bodily harm.
Me thinks this is inevitable outcome of a culture obsessed with freedom.
Wait....are you trying to say there are idiotic morons on "Social Media"?  ;-)

Ignore people like this. Trying to respond to them or worry about their comments would be a full time job. (One that pays for crap) 

Cheers and stay well. 
Always look at the bright side. It beats shooting each other. It was not so long ago that the only good hun... Roman Coliseum anyone? 

 
It's only the same egotistical and bullying attitude of leaders who start wars with other countries or kill their own people because they don't aree with them or they come from the wrong tribe.
The veneer of human civilisation is very very thin.

At least we all stay alive on here and only our feelings are hurt.
Hello,
I hope when listening to your system it makes you forget everything except the music being played. I tell people “if you want to make GOD laugh tell him your plans.”
I truly love listening to music. I will go to goodwill and try to find a couple albums I have never heard. Most important surround yourself with family or friends that you love. If you can surround yourself with people you love and have your music too. That’s about as good as it gets! 
Everybody’s perception, preferences, hearing, audio chain, room modes, power quality, transparency, noise floor, etc etc is non-identical, so it’s evident that what one experience may not be the same for others.
Don’t make me break out the "fact checkers"?!!!? (written totally 100% tongue in cheek)
The veneer of human civilisation is very very thin.
If you can surround yourself with people you love and have your music too. That’s about as good as it gets!

Evidently stuartk, you're a bit of a thread starter, sir.
Hello sorry you are having a difficult time. I have noticed the behavior you describe while using several different online venues like gaming, news posts, and social media. It seems that many people are willing to drop to the lowest element when they are not face to face with the party they are communicating with. So anonymity seems to provide the freedom to insult and put people down that some people apparently enjoy and need. It's unfortunate but it seems that it is a part of the online world that we all live in these days. I relate to the feelings you describe as a result of these types of posts hope you can get past this one soon.
Hope your health improves.

My take is that there are a new group of people that I like to call, "the perpetually apoplectic" among us these days.

I am not going to say where I think this originated or by whom, but when people are upset, they sometimes seek others to validate their feelings.  Soon, whether warranted or not, this group can become dominant in Forums like this or in other areas of out lives.

They do not represent the majority of music lovers on here, but, as a cartoon I have says, two cats looking at a chained-up dog who is howling at the moon, "How come the most ignorant among us are always the loudest?"

Cheers!
The anonymous internet is a dream come true for bullying cowards. When our government institutes the Chinese social credit system this will all stop as there will be consequences for rude behavior. 
Love that Zappa quote!

I wonder if Zappa was channeling T.S. Eliot:

Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?

from,: T.S. Eliot, Choruses from the Rock
There are pimps and shills on Audiogon, and if you do not like a particular piece of equipment or a particular company, then you may get attacked because we are talking about their livelihood.  Really has nothing to do with opinions or discussion - follow the money.  I would not take it personally - you seem like a nice fella to me.  Prayers for your health.
Who was it that sent you the message?
Someone who needs to sit down and watch more reruns of Sesame Street ghasley
Indeed. I cant imagine getting so worked up that a nasty PM would be an option.