You know you're an audiophile if--


You just got a pair of speakers you can barely move yourself (inverse proportionality with age probably too)

The first house you bought cost less than your current stereo investment (ditto)

You have boxes of cables with which you don't know what to do
128x128vermonter
...actually I AM in the process of looking at a new domicile and I AM actually considering each home based upon where I'm going to put my audio gear. Why don't they make barns anymore???
...who claims to be clueless about what your obsession with separation and sound stage and stuff that means nothing to her has picked up enough from you that she doesn't even realize she has become a critic of other people's systems. At friend's houses she would whisper to me about haw crappy their stereo system sounds, and add the little bit about how the highs were hard on her ears.
You become a dealer of high end audio so that you can have half a million in equipment in the living room, thereby making your wife clueless about upgrades you "have" to try. Life was good. My wife would ask how much I'd sold that month, then how much did you clear out of that, then how much can I have for the joint account, at which time I'd say however much you have to have, the rest needs to go into inventory.

My wife would come up to the house for lunch (she had her veterinary clinic on the property) and tell me it really pissed her off to come up to the house and find me kicking back listening to music. I told her to block off two hours as soon as she could and she could see what I was doing.

Doing A/B comparisons I showed her how to make the changes I was looking for, and when she was having a hard time hearing differences I showed her how to focus on the instrument or sound stage that was being affected. She started getting it, but at an hour she said she hadn't realized how tedious what I was doing was, she asked if that was what I did for most of the day and I told her that is exactly what I was doing when I wasn't on the phone or doing a demo. Taking it that seriously day in and day out is harder than it would seem.
...and when you look for apartment, all you care about is placing your audio. everything else is optional including bedroom.
You're looking at homes with a Realtor. Not only do you envision the placement of your audio gear in every home you visit, but you walk around what would be the listening area of each home clapping your hands to test the acoustics.
So true JC4659! I do all those things! Except the Advents. For me it was Vandersteens. Excellent find Buck $2.80! Amazing what a record cleaning machine will do for moldy records, and anything you don't like can be sold or traded for the stuff you like!

Lately I find myself pondering the difference in sound by adjusting toe in by one inch, anal, I believe the word is...
Placement of the stereo was the first thing I envisioned in every new home.
Looking at what's for sale on audiogon almost on a daily basis even though you aren't looking to buy.
Tweaking my system is a nice diversion from thinking about work.
Still feeling guilty about selling my large Advents 35 YEARS AGO.
Years back I stopped at a barn sale and found a Denon DP-57L turntable that was just sitting on the floor, a bit away from the usual fair. Behind it were around 400 lp's. I asked about it, and the gal said it previously belonged to a dj who was staying with them for a bit, but left it when he split. Said I could have the turntable for $15, but I'd have to take all of the lp's, too. I started to go through them and found roughly three quarters of them were very moldy, and the ones that weren't were 12" hip-hop/ rap singles. I don't care for that style of music, but just couldn't let them go to the garbage heap. I think I gave her 20 bucks for the 'table and 12" singles.
I believe that makes me an audionut.
Recently brought the singles to a used record store to make room for my other lp's that were taking up floor space.
Right on, Oregonpapa !

I suffer through the violins as chalk on blackboard imitation
on Columbia vinyl because of the wonderful performances of Walter and Szell.
You know you're an audiophile if you've discarded a record or CD because it didn't have enough inner detail or wasn't awash in enough artificial reverb to suit your audiophile tastes.

A music lover on the other hand ...
Your house gets robbed but they didn't take the stereo because that old tube junk isn't worth anything.
...to paraphrase a Nelson Pass quote, "a wine snob will taste bad wine and get enough out of it even if it's only to complain." Speaking as someone with over 35 years in the wine business and as long chasing the audio dragon, I put forth that vintage Pioneer, Sansui, and Marantz receivers are comparable to older vintage Bordeaux, that current comparable all-in-ones - with rare exception - are Two Buck Chuck, and that current first growth Bordeaux are Pass Labs, VTL, BAT, etc. comments
Just read article Listed below "What is a Audiophile"
http://www.kenrockwell.com/audio/audiophile.htm
Syntax, from what I've seen, your post is both absolutely
true and succinct !
...if you find yourself awakening and not remembering the last 4 cuts.

Nonoise - that is hilarious! That happens to me on occasion but was embarrassed to post. Glad you had the courage. ;^)
...if you hear a System which sounds like the real thing, but deny the impressions because it is not expensive enough...
You pay extra for an amp with no remote because, well, there is less circuitry in there to pollute the darn sound.
you don't laugh out loud when you read about Nordost speaker cables that cost $12,000 for two meters, or interconnects that cost $7700 for a one meter pair. I don't want to offend anyone but $12,000, seriously? Ridiculous!
When I told my girlfriend I was looking on this site for isolation equipment she said, "You're already in isolation with your damn stuff!"
..if you know you've finally got your system dialed, everything is firing on all cylinders, you've never been happier in your life, and you get to thinking...
If you're pretty sure your system actually sounds worse than it did last week. And you remember thinking the same thing last week.
....if while unboxing your latest purchase you think about the ad you will write later.
Re: theDuke's comment regarding giving your old receiver to your girlfriend ...
My girlfriend has 2 of mine! We keep the Pioneer SX 950 in the bedroom and in the living room is her/our's Marantz 2252b. The Marantz is hooked up to a pair of Meadowlark Kestrells. Pretty damn good!
You take money out of your retirement funds to buy audio equipment.

(deep breath and exhale)......yup.
...if you read classifieds here and wonder why anyone would put "high end" in the listing. Duh.....
To Cerrot regarding his earlier post about the lack of being able to drool over used equipment through the window of a stereo shop.

Audio Exchange in NYC is still going strong. While the used stuff isn't out there on display you can still walk in and ask. Great shop!
You have at least two pre-amps, one with xlr and one with RCA connectors to match your (at least) two amplifiers...
You have so many isolation blocks/platforms that you could live in San Francisco and barely notice any earthquakes...
You don't know what a center channel loudspeaker is...
Not smoking, drinking, or having children in your home is considered a positive lifestyle...
Your LP collection is displayed near your gear but your turntable is in the closet because you don't have room for it on or in the rack....
You buy a new piece of equipment and believe that dismantling the ENTIRE Salamander Designs cabinet is an occasionally enjoyable thing to do...
You have "back up" equipment just in case any of your multi-thousand dollar pieces goes on the blink...
When you tell non-files their CD player could benefit from a modern DAC and they look at you...and look at you
Finally, you're an audiophile because there ARE differences in the stuff you buy and more times than not you can actually HEAR it.
If you have a big bunch of RCA Living Stereo CDs but never play them.
First one leaves most rockers out, last one most Classical lovers, middle one explains dearth of lady 'philes .
You still have a bump on your head from all the times you stood up from looking into the Harveys Electronics store window on West 8th Street, Greenwich Village, NYC. I was 14... My GLORY days of hifi. Hop on a train and hit stereo exchange and drool over all the used gear. than walk over to 8th street - more drooling and if you were lucky and had a half a buck in your pocket, train uptown to rub your nose on more hifi glass storefronts. What a time. Now that I can afford to walk in and shop, alot of those stores are gone...
When your amp cost over $5000.00 and was state of the art in 1980 ... and you presently have it safely tucked away as a spare.
You BS your wife about your new toys saying "I found those old thing in storage and just dusted them off." Then TAS arrives two days later with your newly acquired toys (all $18k of the tax return and settlement) in the editors choice section. And she still doesn't get it. I love my honey, but she will never know how much I sweat that one! And that is why she got the $5k earnings for her birthday! Wait, did I get played?
you allocating funds little-by little, purchasing $20k Burmester or MBL, than bs-ing your wife you've paid $200.
You know you're an audiophile if it takes more than half an hour to treat a CD.
Milpai,

"You can confidently give advise on components that you never owned, or a technology that you have not used.

And people take it.

And your advise works!!"

Great stuff...I try to refrain from doing that too often, but Lord help me, I think it's true!
It amuses me to the highest degree to see people use Greek words to emphasize their great knowledge of higher order English language. So in this page alone and quickly I am noticing the follow words in no particular order.
"pedantic" "autocrat" "despot" "dictator" "Caesar" "audiophile" "technology" "christened" and perhaps many more else were up the page..........I am Greek myself.
Now in regards to war atrocities......
One actual clip of WW2 that I've seen that made me cry was of a small Japanese lady running on a street holding her dead baby (it was black burned crisp) this was after a bomb hit that destroyed everything for miles .God only knows what was in her mind at that moment. It was a US Army film.

Now back to more pleasant posts.
George
... You can dial your favorite suppliers phone numbers by heart but not your spouses cell phone....
You purchase the used Jaguar over the New Bentley because of the Meridian sound system. LOL
You can confidently give advise on components that you never owned, or a technology that you have not used.

And people take it.

And your advise works!!
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