Worst Name for A Piece of Equipment

There is a CD player with a good reputation that goes by the name fog. I don't think any audiophile would want a CD player to sound foggy. What other names do you know which are a contradiction in terms or are simply unpleasant sounding.
Fried loudspeakers - don't know why someone would want a speaker that had been used by headbangers etc. at lease breking levels

Audiostatic - the last thing I want to hear

Broken Lamp Amp Company - love the name, but if the lamp broke, who knows what condition the amp's in

ARC pre/power amplifiers - again, was there any damage?

Pink Triangle - do I really need to explain?!?

Ack! DAC - Does the commercial have a duck quacking over a bunch of unaware people? Seems to be a great product, though

Aloia - sounds like a New Yawker saying "a lawyer"

CAT - better than calling your product a dog...

Yamamura - NOBODY talks about my mama!!!

Xhifi - well, what do they do now?

Wattgate - no, open the doors

Virtual Bass Technologies - no, thanks. I'll take the real stuff

Voyd Turntables - I thought analog was supposed to be more seamless than digital

OK, I'm getting tired of typing, but I wouldn't mind some T+A...
Maybe not bad, but the following names always bring humorous images to mind.

Bag End (baggy bass?)
Buggtussel (Insect wrestling)
Berning (Burning)
Lector (Wonder when they’ll bring out the "Hannibal")
Fried Speakers (Perhaps fried by the Burning amp?)
Sony Xplode
Bob Crump designed an excellent line conditioner named:


It certainly isnt' the most exotic or attractive name for a good piece of equipment.

scout scoutmaster super scoutmaster etc......tops the ford probe....what were they thinking?
My favorite is EAR
I think that "Eichmann Bullets" was a most unfortunate name for a product, given the Holocaust...
The entire 'Manley' line in this hobby noticeably oversupplied with testerone.
Another good candidate is Manley Shrimp. What is manly about (it) being a shrimp?
I guess if "Eichmann Bullets" is unfortunate, then so also must be "Pink Triangle"
With no inference as to the sound, I find these names to be amusing:

Rethm gives me the impression that they 'nearly' provide rhythm.

Virtual Dynamics isn't bad until you use the acronym.

Audio Note...is that all I get, only one note?

Valve Amplification Company...powered by what, Electron Mover power cords? On the other hand, the shortened "VAC" is rather virile.

Coincident(ly), they just might sound good to you.

Pipedreams. To own them, or to get them to sound like I want?
How about Overkill Audio? Yankee Audio? Outlaw Audio?
What about...

Pass, just too easy to write the review.

Nad, the stereo to buy when you wanna hava ball.

Gallo, I listen to what I drink....I love you maaaan.

Creek, where you'll be when you buy this stuff.

Beveridge, another hi fi brand that wants to be a drink, I see a pattern here.

MIT Terminator, screw higher learning, I just want to listen to "Dark Side Of The Moon" again.

Transparent, how do you find the stuff once you misplace it, must be even harder when listening to the Gallo speakers?

Monster X-terminator, worked at my house, I don't see many monsters any more.
Joe, you kill me!
I'm afraid to ask, Entrope, but what does Uranus do?

Joe, you crack me up!
man i sure hope entrope dont answer that one.
Boa2, I know the answer to that..........

I'm afraid to ask, Entrope, but what does Uranus do?

It's where you find Klingons
Whew! Albert, I thought you were gonna say that's where the bugs tussle.
Von Gaylord.

Not that there is anything wrong with it.
I kan't stand the names of Linn's ekwipment. They will not name a piece of gear unless they kan totally botch the spelling of the word and replace as many Cs with Ks as possible. I find this ekstremely annoying for some reason, and it's really not that klever.
I will probably never buy a piece of Linn gear bekause of it!
I keep wondering if Dominus was created in honor of Albert.
Boa2, pipedreams....that was the best!
How about Pathos amplifiers for those times when you feel really sad. And there used to be a Swedish (I think) loudspeaker line called Sinus.
>>I keep wondering if Dominus was created in honor of Albert<<

No that would that be Promotionous.
All that stuff that Manley brings out. On top of being the ugliest designs I have ever come across, no one can convince me that "Shrimp", even if a play on words, makes any kind of sense for an audio product!
I have read that the ubiquitous K used by Linn is to emphasize their logo. They are committed to using it to remind people of their original TT's logo and that the source is of utmost importance. I can't reproduce it exactly but it is a V with a line under it (presumably a record) to emulate a stylus on a platter and looks like a K when flipped line down. This continues despite the company's wide range of products.
I learned recently that the "TG" in Bob Crump's "TG Audio" stood for "Throbbing Gristle". So yes, he made a "Throbbing Gristle Line Sucker"...
"Eichmann bullets" sounds more like a Pornstar than a connector. Need to re-think that one....
More like Adolph Eichmann. One of the Hitler's henchmen.
How ELSE can you pronounce this?!

Cabasse Jonque

add 'calypso' to the list....what next the 'polka'?
An audio dealer that carried the Ars Audes speaker line had the really nice sounding "Sol" model, which he liked to refer to as the Ars Sols.
Jaybo - I personally think Calypso, like Rhea, Janus, Io, Callisto, etc., are a lot more original than something called a Reference 3 Mk II Statement Signature. A little bit of light reading on moons and more moons can be interesting.
Edge amplifiers, who wants an edgy sounding amp? (I know they don't actually sound that way)
Phonomena phone stage, not necessarily a bad name but the dealer nick named it, the phono enema. (I own one)
I also agree all the Manley names like Shrimp, Mahi Mahi, etc. are really bad. (I do like Stingray)
Rhljazz, the phono enema is a perfect nickname for it. After all, it appeals mostly to anal-og-philes! :)
Bag End....
Has anyone mentioned 'Von Gaylord'? Or was that just a joke someone played on me?
I think I saw a Von Gaylord amp at CES last year. It was a tube amp that utilized big transmitting tubes, like a 211. The output tubes were encased in glass or plexiglass that was filled with WATER. You could see the heat causing ripples in the column of water above the tube. It was powering something like Legacy speakers -- the sound of the system was okay, but nothing special.

In short, the name is hardly the weirdest thing about this product.
Von Gaylord used to be Legend. They make tube gear and small speakers that have frequently been big hits at shows. Consistently bad music selections however.

They have a cable called -- I kid you not --Chinchilla. Von Gaylord Chinchilla. You could lose your lunch.
Von Gaylord is the last name of their designer. They changed their name from Legend Audio to Von Gaylord because of another company using close to the same name.
I always thought the name "Wadia" sounded odd, but in my opinion, they make some of the nicest looking products on the market. Sandra
How about "Aural Ersatz?"

Don't you love it? Speakers with this brand name just showed up today (2/3) in the Audiogon classifieds.
How boring is B&W.
Especially when it sounds like BMW.
I much prefer Bowers and Wilkins.
legend audio's awareness was stalled when they made the name change, and they have never quite found new momentum. von gaylord creeps people out.
I found another one. The Audioharma cable cooker for quick breakin. It is used by a regular seller of cables here. I thought it was a mistake but several of the ads say that. Now why would anyone want to harm their cables prior to use go figure!
In the 1970s, Infinity made a series of very inexpensive speakers with very large margins that were only carried in major hi-fi chains they were called POS-1, POS-2, etc. The letters were an acronym for "piece of s**t". Actually, it is hardly the worst name for a piece of gear, as it quite accurately described both the sound and build quality. Truth in advertising.
There was a turntable in the '80s named Zarathustra Soliloquy!