Ah yes, I remember the audiophile nervosa from my first few years of high-end MC cartridge’ing :) 15 years now, some 2 dozen MC cartridges, lots of cleaning, and never any damage caused by cleaning. The real risk is too little cleaning.
It’s almost impossible to hurt a cartridge with proper bushing. If the bristles seemingly hurt the stylus or cantilever, it was on its way out anyways - how will it survive the vinyl grooves?! And yes, a damaged or missing stylus will be VERY obvious. Not slightly apparent.
I hate those little circular pad brushes with very short bristles. It means you’re getting hard plastic bits very close to the stylus / cantilever, which requires more caution (use your 2nd hand for bracing the 1st hand as necessary). Longer bristles (~ 1cm or so) also allow you to clean up & down the cantilever, keep "beards" off the front yoke piece (especially that crucial hole for the cantilever), and you can more thoroughly clean the stylus from different angles.
I don’t like carbon fiber bristles. Too soft to really knock gunk off. I like some rigidity. Cheap & cheerful nylon is fine. Artist brushes are fine (but careful if the metal ferrule is magnetic! Benz uses some very strong magnets).
I also have a Benz Ebony L (among many others) and brush it often. Great cart!