Audiophile Humor


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An audiophile is boasting to his club at a meeting about his exotic and tres expensive new interconnects. Veils have been lifted, levels of detail exposed, factors-of-ten improvements in sonics..."

As he does this, a club member sneaks over to the interconnect and scrubs off the brand name.

Seeing this, the first audiophile loudly proclaims, "You idiot! You've ruined them! Now I can't tell them apart from any other cheap interconnect!"

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You know why speaker cables have different names?

So you can tell them apart.

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How is listening to a turntable like hearing a drummer knocking on your door?

The sound keeps speeding up and slowing down.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who has a mint pristine first pressing Hi Fi copy of "Bang Barroom and Harp" and doesn't play it for you.

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An audiophile saves up for years and years to get a mint copy of "Look of Love" and on the way home from picking it up, decides to stop at the record store to buy a protective cover for the sleeve.

"I'll only be inside a minute, I'll just leave it in the backseat, it's cool out. I'll lock up the car and be right back."

He's only gone for a moment, but when he comes out of the store he is crestfallen to see the back window has been broken out of his car. He races up to the window, expecting the worst.

When he looks inside the car, he sees......two copies of "Look of Love."



128x128mitch4t
abnerjack, yeah, I've stood accused of delusional activities.  Nothing to the level of the vid of the couple smoking bath salts and his jumping out the window, which may have been triggered by listening to 'death metal'...

Equipment unknown in that case, but that response may have been bad cables or a compromised DAC.  His female companion seems to be either utterly blissed out or hopefully tone deaf....

I suspect most audiojunkies have succumbed to this ancient enigma, to which there is no cure....

The radar man with a micro-mind If you should see upon the street A man equipped with dipole feet With a family of curves trailing behind He's a radar man with a micro-mind His eyes take on a neon gleam His ears extend to a Yagi beam His mouth becames another pulse gate His heart pumps blood at a video rate With micro-seconds and micro-waves And micro-volts he fills his days And thereby in the curse of time He developed a micro-mind This Radar man with the passing years Attained infinite impedance between his ears And finally succumbed to an heavy jolt When he got what he thought was a micro-volt The Doc looked up from his micro-scope Turned to his collegues and softly spoke No trace of a brain can I find He's a Radar man with a micro mind

It's that 'infinite impedance' part that afflicts me...nothing looks 'normal' anymore...;)
Tough room…Julian Hirsch paved the way for modern "subjective" reviewing by never doing any of that. He was the "consumer reports" of audio.
Randy, unless you were being ironic ;-), Aczel’s mag was The Audio Critic. And critical it was! There are a bunch of issues viewable on the TAC website, but new ones are a very rare occurrence---Aczel is pretty old now, and admittedly sick and tired of the whole thing.
I like the joke where one audiophile says to another, "I have this nightmare: I die and my wife sells off my stereo system for what I told her it cost."  :-D