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the one that got away - how do you handle grief?

I just lost a bid for my dream speakers that I had been chasing for a decade. It was pretty stupid because I missed the last hour and maybe I would have won it with another $100. But maybe it's a sign, it's just a piece of hardware, that I should not be obsessed with. - "you can't always get what you want"

Did you always get the gear you thought would make you whole?

parkergetdean
ackimesnow
2 posts
 

Acceptance is the key. The faster you can get to acceptance the better off you’ll be.

parkergetdean OP
1,032 posts
 

@tattooedtrackman yes, certainly, patience (not my strength, self-restraint) is important. Especially with a gear older than my first car.... could be risky anyway

macg19
1,320 posts
 

Yes. But not to make me whole, just happy.

I recently acquired the MBL 126 used. I wanted exactly this speaker. The ad on USAM was 2 days old. They were in NOLA and  I’m in SoCal and it was local pick up only. MBLs aren’t common on the used market from what I could tell.

I offered to send a private freight company we use at work to pick them up, pallet them at my cost, and the seller agreed.

I got what I wanted within a week. 

You don’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need.

 

kennyc
2,834 posts
 

the one that got away - how do you handle grief?

2 views:

  • OPTIMISM - assuming best case scenario is the focus
  • REALITY - looking at probability based on history 

So in auctions:

  • Optimism hopes the entered bid, at a level I’m comfortable with, will be enough to win the auction. In hindsight, upon an auction loss, when the winning bid is below my max sacrifice budget, then I often beat myself up for not increasing my bid beyond the comfortable amount.
  • Reality realizes that based on past observations and experience, I can be outbid anytime (I have no control), even my very best bid. But sometimes I can dive in with last minute bids to help my chances. Nothing is certain.

I used to live in Optimism until I discovered it often leads to DEEP emotional disappointment. Now I live in Reality which spares me the emotional baggage.

motown-l
341 posts
 

I "lost" a bunch of nice, for their time, audio equipment during a ruinous 1st marriage. I was more or less forced to sell some too big for the space audio equipment including an early PS Audio power amp, a pair of JBL l-166 Horizon speakers and a NAD 3020 being used as a preamp. I still occasionally lament their loss, but am eternally grateful to my now wife (21 years) who understands my need for a dedicated listening space and a collection of audio components.

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