i'm looking for something that may not exist


sam here & i'm looking for a small portable device like a small mp3 player that when you turn it on it makes all your digital audio sound like the finest first press vintage vinyl? has to be very portable & fit in your pocket with no cables to plugin to your phone or dac player.you simply turn it on & all your digital audio sounds like pure analog warm vinyl without the clicks,pops,scratches,surface noise,tracking errors,ect.& the volume control could be modified to act as a tone knob only unlike a simple bass, mid, treble, by adjusting the volume it would be like swapping out the phono cartridge to get that perfect sound every time.plus i don't want blue tooth so it has to work on the earths natural electromagnetic frequencies kind of like natures wifi? if this exist can someone let me know where i can buy one because i love the sound of vintage vinyl i just want the convenience of digital audio thanks guitar sam
guitarsam
Post removed 
Post removed 
sam here & i'm looking for a small portable device like a small mp3 player that when you turn it on it makes all your digital audio sound like the finest first press vintage vinyl? has to be very portable & fit in your pocket with no cables to plugin to your phone or dac player.you simply turn it on & all your digital audio sounds like pure analog warm vinyl without the clicks,pops,scratches,surface noise,tracking errors,ect.& the volume control could be modified to act as a tone knob only unlike a simple bass, mid, treble, by adjusting the volume it would be like swapping out the phono cartridge to get that perfect sound every time.plus i don't want blue tooth so it has to work on the earths natural electromagnetic frequencies kind of like natures wifi? if this exist can someone let me know where i can buy one because i love the sound of vintage vinyl i just want the convenience of digital audio thanks guitar sam


Used to be you could buy this from geoffkait over on machinadynamica.com it was based on and designed to achieve isolation within six degrees of Kevin Bacon. 
Sounds viable.  You seem to have a good idea, how do you get it done?  See if if it is possible with todays available technology.  Develop your prototype.  Search for a partner.  Digital Amplifier Company has used a crowd/site source buy in for their ILM Cherries.  Or try Schitt Audio.  They are both in SoCal.  Use the forums for your R&D of the need or use of this product.  Would I use it?  No, however I would buy it for the grandkids or great grandkids.  Good luck.