RCA connectors-how to tighten them up.

This is a bit confusing, because I think of a female RCA connector as a "jack," not a "plug." I wouldn't expect the connector to have "flaps," which I associate with a male "plug." But perhaps I'm just misunderstanding you.

In any event - and without trying to start another Cable War - it sounds as though you have cheap connectors. I think one of the biggest differences between high-end cables and run-of-the-mill cables is the quality of the connectors. Good hi-fi connectors should fit snugly. So at a minimum, I'd replace the jack or plug, or consider new cables altogether.

Thanks Cleeds, I am probably mangling the terminology.

As far as cheap connectors, they are AQ sky pigtails on my Vandy crossover. I have tried them on different equipment, but they just seem loose compared to my other cables. 
I think they were used on some nonstandard rca jack at some point.

Looking inside the female 'jack', there are 4 small tabs along the inside of the housing. I thought those might be responsible for snugging the cable.

At worst, I will send them back to Vandy, the need the batteries replaced soon.
Bob

Ask, Audioquest, they are professional and friendly. Cheers,
Spencer

You're right. I give that advice to others. I should have taken it myself.