You're selling that? But you just got it


This post is for all you guys that have a SO or wife that sometimes gives you a hard time about the audio addiction. Wives rarely understand this hobby and often object to the expense. It doesn't help that for some reason woman are generally less into music and almost never excited by shiny electronics. So I thought I'd share what worked for me.

My wife was on board with the initial equipment I purchased several years ago when I first got back into hifi after a long break, but she definately was perplexed by any box switching after that and objected to the money spent.

At one point I had a little talk with her and her objections were permanently silenced. The problem was, she just did not understand the hobby. She was under the impression that the hobby was entirely about listening to music. Once you purchased a nice system, you just bought music and enjoyed. While buying and listening to music is also a hobby and also one I enjoy very much, the pursuit of hifi is a different hobby. That's what she did not understand. Once I explained to her that experimenting with different components and various tweaks was all part of the hobby that is the pursuit of hifi perfection, she understood what I was doing. It made sense to her and she stopped objecting. The box swapping IS the hobby. That's what the hobby is! Changing things up in a never ending pursuit to improve the sound quality. The wives and girlfriends just do not understand this unless you explain it to them. It also helps if you explain how you buy and sell used equipment with minimal financial loss. And if you compare the expense (and time spent) to friends that are into golf, lol. You're at home, golfers are never home.

BTW, I'm not talking about crazy box swappers that never even let the dust settle on a piece of equipment. There is no defense for that.
jaxwired
My wife is the smartest audiophile wife on the planet (OK, so maybe she's just a hell of a lot smarter than me which clearly doesn't take much). When we started dating, I made sure to fully inform her about my "hobby" and its insanity. I wanted her to know, right up front, that this was part of who I am and that, if she didn't like it, now was the time to get out as I wouldn't give up the hobby once I got married (she needed to know that when I said "I do" that it meant "I do upgrade my stereo when I get the urge.")

So, we end up getting married and, about six months afterward, a manufacturer/distributor offers me a pair of $100,000 speakers for about 60% off (they were custom made for the manufacturer's best friend who needed the money). That was still a huge chunk of change -- even after selling my then current speakers ($45,000 retail from the same company).

So, my wife (who had sold her home after we got married) insisted that I could not pass up this offer or I'd regret it for life. She then tells me to take $25,000 of the $35,000 profit from the sale of the home (pre-subprime mess) and buy the speakers.

Now, 8 years later, I realize that she was sly like a fox. With that amazing gesture/gift (which I "reluctantly" accepted and purchased the speakers), she knew I'd never come back asking for anything more. She got it all out of the way up front. Damn her.

Should I divorce her for manipulating me so?
"Should I divorce her for manipulating me so?" - If you do, I'll take her. I love to be manipulated like that.

Friend of mine has speakers covered all the time by ornamental blankets because, according to his wife, they are not esthetically pleasing. On the upside he never has bright or edgy sound.

There are times when I want to buy something really expensive but then I think about my friend and feel much better instantly.
Wife?!?! If it floats, flys, or f*cks, isn't it a life cardinal rule that you should LEASE it? ;-)
I always work under the assumption that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission with the impossible-to-hide stuff; and I try to use "stealth" funds as much as possible to buy tubes, cabling and cartridges, which she never notices.
You're right, I am at home; and we spend quality time together when I'm flipping the album over.
Take her and her favorite CD or LP to a high end store and ask to have it played on a $50,000 system. Once she hears what top tier components can do she will gain respect for your audiophile habits.