Tachyons?? Really?

Well if Quantum wasn't enough, we now have products with Tachyons (hypothetical sub atomic particles). What's going to be next?

Hey, I've got a cable that uses Hawking Radiation as a gain source for people with passive preamps.

Maybe we should have some kind of alert system like Amber and Silver on the highway. We could call it a Brown Alert. It will be used when someone is trying to sell you a complete line of BS.
Who is using Tachyons in audio?
Since they will probably like the attention I will mention the listing.
Listing #  "lis84ibb" is a field generator that uses Tachyons to absorb excess electrons from the ionosphere thereby making electricity more efficient. This is a Brown Alert.
Hey, pal, Superman already did it a long time ago when he flew around the world a bunch of times faster than the speed of light so he could go back in time and save Lois Lane. Duh!

That's right Geoff... I'm not giving them points for originality either.
What's next, Pachyons? Elephants that can go faster than the speed of light?

I think elephants use a Teleportation device. Geoff, I wouldn't start throwing too many stones.
Watch Star Trek Tachyon references  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShCV_JhBSbo
Tachyons can open a wormhole to another galaxy.
you send the distortions down the wormhole
If you send an inverse tachyon pulse down the cable, you can hear the start and finish of the track at the same time.

And we have some new ones coming get ready!

I’m sure we’re all sitting on the edge of our seat. Speaking of the Hadron Collider and cutting edge physics one can’t wondering when those eggheads will be able to detect Morphic fields. Hmmmm..... Ta ta for now.
Totally unrelated and apologies for the non audio post but I was unaware that teleportation is apparently a real thing.

Whoa! Hey, that’s nothin’! I have been routinely employing quantum teleportation for distances up to 10,000 miles for years. Hel-loo! Hey, at least they’re trying.