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God, I hate to ask this…

Recent conversations with the oncologist have been replete with phrases like ‘stage 4’,metastasis’ and unappealing statistics applied to survival rates. While my real and financial affairs are well settled I am most perplexed with how to approach this large pile of audio stuff e.g. 3 secondary systems in addition to the primary one, several thousand lp’s, a similar number of CD’s/SACD’s, a closet full of cable etc. I am utterly confident that I am not alone in this. While I am comfortable that my wife will love and care for my dog I am less confident that the Avantgardes will elicit such emotional investment. Although my immediate inclination is to cling desperately to these treasured objects it seems patently unfeeling to expect someone else to deal with all of this. My wife will have enough to do. I could just divest myself of much of it and depend on the collection of headphones that I began to amass during the first illness. I really don’t want to do this. I would also like to pre-bequeath much of it to friends assuming that they wanted it but all of them have been adamant in their refusal to discuss this with me and probably will remain so until the 11th hour. As childlike as it seems, I am emotionally invested in these fruits of a lifelong passion and want them to end up where they will be respected and loved . This seems to be a juncture that we will all come to. I would be grateful to hear the contemplations that all you have had in this, admittedly, sobering matter. 
To all of you, good cheer and good health.

 

williamjohnston
bigkidz
3,506 posts
 

So sorry to hear about your illness.  I just got out of the hospital and had my gall bladder removed.  I own an audio manufacturing and repair company.  So much stuff that we have a dedicated music and repair facility.  I also have a ton of guitars laying around the house also.

I made a list of everything I own and what the values are.  I told my wife that when my time comes to speak with my best friend about this.  He is aware that I have asked him to do what he feels is necessary to move all the equipment.  I told him to sell, give away, donate whatever so that my wife does not have to deal with this.  We don't need the money (meaning my wife) so just do what he feels is the right thing to do.

Many people have provided you with some places that maybe can help you with your illness and hopefully one of them can provide a solution for you.

Reflect on the good things in your life, the good memories of your living on this earth and enjoy any remaining time you have hopefully longer that you are thinking right now.

God bless you and your family.  If your wife needs any assistance, I will offer to help her with advice or in moving the equipment.  Have her reach out here and send me a private message.

 

  

miyu
23 posts
 

I am sorry you are going through this but I know from your post that you will make whatever time you have left, long or short, precious and valuable. 

My main thought is that it will be comforting to gather your best, favorite, or most convenient system and let it be the joy in your life that it obviously has always been. A treasured piece of music can have many times the power in times like this. 

russbutton's avatar
russbutton
515 posts
 

This is something all of us come to.  Do you deal with it on your terms or not?  I'm sure a lot of gear goes cheap at estate sales, or unscrupulous local buyers take advantage of windows and such.

Your best move on the records is to call a couple of local record dealers and get quotes on what they'll give you for your whole record collection.  It will be dimes on the dollar if you're lucky.  If you had the time and energy, you could do like I did and create a long listing of albums and list them on Craigslist & US Audiomart, and deal with buyers.  But just unloading to a dealer is your best move.

As for the gear, US Audiomart is probably  your best bet.  You may need help with packing and shipping.  As with the records, the urgency to sell will likely net you a bit less money, but it will be more than if your wife were to sell it.

As much as we love our gear, it eventually becomes just so much clutter.  That's why I unloaded my entire record collection and turntable.

niodari's avatar
niodari
378 posts
 

Nobody knows how long s/he will live. Just try not to think too much about it. I asked my children to keep all my audio stuff when I will not be alive. Part of me is in this stuff and I would not like somebody (whom I don't know) to have it (ironically, I bought used many LPs, CDs and cassettes, and I did not think about who was their previous owner, still I hope s/he would not be disappointed knowing that they became mine). Your family may keep your stuff as a sacred  memory of you. 

 

 

jeff333
3 posts
 

My father was given <2 years to live (CLL), that was 20+ years ago he is now 78 and in good health, still occasionally does treatments.  Doctors had to keep amending the outlook and eventually admitted "who knows" because of constant advances in treatment.

To answer your question, if you have an estate plan which you probably do, I don't think it would be hard to specify an executor of the equipment, say the owner of a nearby high-end gear dealer you trust.  They would at least know what the stuff is and could oversee liquidation of the gear, not to get the most money out of it, but to find new homes where it would be appreciated.

Better yet, maybe Audiogon could have an "estate sale" category, and you could specify some portion of the proceeds to your favorite charity or disease research effort in your honor.

It's funny, some of the equipment me and my friends have is so high-end or specialized that we sometimes say, "they will bury you with this", because of the unlikelihood of it being surpassed any time soon.

-J

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