Is my anti-skating too strong.

MC, do you read what you write? "OMG sorry but it has nothing to do with the angle of the cantilever. The skating force that pulls the arm towards the center is a result of not being tangential. It has nothing to do with the offset angle of the head shell, or the cartridge, or the cantilever, or the stylus, or any of that."
It is the cantilever that must be tangent to the groove, but even then, in a conventional pivoted tonearm which has headshell offset, you won't have zero skating force even at the two null points.  First you disagree with me, and then you repeat pretty much what I said, using different words.  The magnitude of the skating force has a great deal (not "nothing") to do with headshell offset angle and the cantilever.  But headshell offset angle is the dominant cause of the skating force only at the two null points, where the cantilever IS momentarily tangent to the groove, but there is still a side force owing to the fact that the pivot point is offset.  At all other points on the surface of the LP, the cantilever/stylus is not tangent to the groove, and this plays an additive role in determining the magnitude of the force, in the vector algebra sense.
Everything to you is simple, except sometimes you are wrong in your simple explanations, so maybe not so simple on those occasions.  On this occasion, you and I are not really at odds, but you cannot see it. Or, to paraphrase something that Einstein actually did say, a hypothesis to explain a phenomenon should be simple as possible, but not simpler.

Before we all start getting into a major urinary tract exercise, why not read the results of studies and observations from actual cartridge manufacturers.  As a start, I suggest reading Peter Ledermann's comments: 

https://www.sound-smith.com/faq/how-do-i-adjust-anti-skating-my-cartridge

Totally concur with @bpoletti...use Ledermann’s method.

Beats me how you guys can argue over such a simple and obvious bit of physics.
Ledermann's explanation is correct.

He mentions using the unmodulated run-out area of the record to observe scating activity.
This is better done with an entire unmodulated side of a record.  These are often present on MFSL 45rpm reissues.  Drop the stylus at various positions on the revolving record surface and observe how strongly and quickly the skating force pulls the arm towards the centre.  Then add anti-skating and re-test.  Adjust the anti-skating force until the best result is obtained in maintaining the arm most nearly stationary at different points and you will have the best amount of anti-skating to equalise the forces on each side of the groove.

Ledermann mentioned in passing that parallel tracking arms are complex and expensive and kind of excluded them on that basis.  I agree that many don't work very reliabily and are difficult to set up and maintain settings.  My Simon Yorke Aeroarm (an extremely rare piece I am fortunate to have, thank you Simon) works very well and cost one-quarter or less of the price of the top pivoted arms that are now $50,000 and more.  I know which I'd rather have.

I use the unmodulated side to set the lateral levelling of my plinth on the fly using a fine screw adjustment, so that the arm remains stationary on a revolving record.  Lateral levelling is critical for parallel trackers and this method is waaayyy more accurate than using a spirit level.

You should NOT have the antiskate on or connected while making alignment adjustments. That is last step. In adjusting your anti skate, find a record with lots of dead wax near the label. Place stylus in the dead wax and watch how quickly or slowly the stylus moves toward the label/spindle. It should move gracefully, not too quickly and not too slowly. Usually the recommended position on the rod will coincide with your cartridge tracking force. The very outer rung is the most antiskating, while the rung nearest to the pivot is the least. So, you only have three options as there are only three rungs to hang the fishing line from.

Also, listen for distortion in right and left speaker...if your hearing it in the right, you have too much antiskating...if in left, you have too little...