Need advice

Soix...
Thank you. I appreciate your making things right. My dad always told me that people will always have bumps...it's what they do AFTER the bump that tells the tale. 
I am so new that much of the "audio-speak" is foreign to me. I grew up in San Francisco in the 60's and 70's as a kid/teenager. My mom was a studio pianist. I grew up on EVERYTHING. So a significant amount of my "hearing" was live. If I understand the language correctly, I think that I'd like neutral(?) I wouldn't think I'd be a fan of much coloring..in other words if you hit a D or an A-flat..then that is what I want to hear. My mom always said the the musician should be able to present what they wanted people to hear..that's why she was a live pianist mainly. So I guess I'd say that even though I'm a noob..my ear is a little critical...I look for correct notes...duration of note...ebb or decay...not punctuation..and not mood. Perhaps I should break into my stash and just write a 5k or 10k ck...but then I'd have to buy my wife something of equal value...haaa. Does that noob description help?

Thanks..how nice it is to keep getting all this help.

If Hi-Fi Heaven hasn't yet sold my old (but perfect) Wharfedale EVO2-40s, priced I think at $850, you might love them. Elegantly stylish in rosewood with all accessories including white gloves, highly musical, a bargain even at their original retail of $2k. Last I knew, HFH had photos posted online.

@mormark...There seems to be an almost infinite choice of speakers 'out there', so it is a daunting choice to make.  If you're still in a major metro (or near one), that can either be helpful or frustrating....

Helpful in that one can 'sample listen' to the current 'tech' levels...

Frustrating in that (as you noted) the sales staff wants you to pull the c-card and make their day....

Resist. ;) 

First step:  Take spouse out to a nice dinner and tell her you want to sell the car and buy speakers....(just kidding)...  But I admire your thought of spending equal $ on her as well.  It's helped my relationship with mine...

Growing up with 'live' music and attempting to duplicate that makes your quest perhaps a bit more 'difficult' than most.  I'd venture to opine that your memories range from the 'intimate' to 'studio' situations....quite a range there.

'Neutrality' in audio is a broad topic in itself; 'dynamics' or 'intimacy' within that in a large room...*shrug*

ListenListenListenListenListenListenListenListen to everything you can point your ears at.  What do you listen to?  Take a CD, dongle, anything portable and demand to hear it.

Used equipment is fine....speakers, however, Demand being heard.
You don't know their history...and I'm picky.

MHO...I'm an 'omni' sort...but my bias on that stance likely annoys most here...and I've got a very tough hide in that regard. *s*  To each...;)

Good luck, and happy shopping....

Thanks asvjerry..I think that is some great advice. I just noticed in my post above I typo'd "not punctuation" and "not mood". It was SUPPOSED to be "note punctuation" and "note mood"...geez if I could get this sausage fingers to type correctly!

As far as the dinner thing..After 28 yrs of marriage I think I'll just hand her a stash of equal cash and just say.."here..I love you...I'm buying myself some speakers"...and call it good. :)