overwhelmed by record rituals

Stringreen---Buyers of used LP's especially need a machine IMO, but also anyone who desires to remove the mold-release coating on new LP's.

I clean new LPs and anything else I want to listen to from my old stuff…I feel weird playing something I haven't cleaned, as if I'm insulting my turntable (or at least the cartridge). Once…they only need to be cleaned once as they have no opportunity to get dirty.

Wolf/BDP24,
I sympathise with all 3 viewpoints above. There is more than one strategy unfortunately. Folk have varying amounts of disposable time and the size of their collections may make it a physical impossibility to clean all their LPs before they expire ;^)
For example in my case I don't casually listen to the HiFi or use it as background but set aside time for 2 long sessions of 4 hrs per week of dedicated listening. Even though I've retired aged 59, if I'm struggling to get the listening time how much more difficult would it be to spend 25 minutes per item deep cleaning?

The good news is that vinyl purchased new from 1970 onwards in most cases has a remarkably low noise floor and still manages to sound "like new" on a properly set up half-decent rig. If one is disinclined to clean LPs regularly there are other options.

While RCMs have now become de rigeur, please remember that in the first decade of Linn LP12 world domination that the Linn mantra was to allow the stylus to clean the LP for you then to clean the stylus afterwards. Despite this apparent “negligence” no one ever complained that their LP playback was either noisy or lacking in resolution. Indeed it was quite the opposite! ;^)
My past perception isn’t questionable as long as those old LPs withstand current comparison (or indeed sound preferable) to CD.

I admit that if I hear a bad case of MRA on a newly pressed LP I will get it cleaned by a bureaux or agency for a small charge (or you can even buy from record shops that will clean LPs you on a Loricraft or Keith Monks. Admittedly they will add a small surcharge to the price while accepting that there are those who will not trust anyone other than themselves to perform this task. For this reason they usually offer the courtesy of using their equipment to enable you to do the job yourself.)

Earlier in the thread it was mentioned that there were thousands of satisfied Magic Eraser users. Anything that exerts a “downward pull” on the stylus suspension creeps me out. I also feel the same about sticky gels that perform a similar action. You won’t catch me using this method but that’s just a personal thing and it shouldn’t stop anyone else who wants to risk it.
I know I'm going to take pelters for this but a dry carbon brush is the only excitement my stylus is likely to see. Absurdly, my current regime is far more thorough than when I was a flat-Earther but the LPs survive regardless! ;^)

We can become obsessive about the process. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath and step back.

Get a cd player Keep Truckin!!

In some cases, I play the LP before putting it on my VPI. I deep clean only "keepers"---going through the process for an LP I don't keep is a giant waste, both of time (as Moonglum suggests, my remaining days grow short!) and resources.