the one that got away - how do you handle grief?

the one that got away - how do you handle grief?

2 views:

• OPTIMISM - assuming best case scenario is the focus
• REALITY - looking at probability based on history 

So in auctions:

• Optimism hopes the entered bid, at a level I’m comfortable with, will be enough to win the auction. In hindsight, upon an auction loss, when the winning bid is below my max sacrifice budget, then I often beat myself up for not increasing my bid beyond the comfortable amount.
• Reality realizes that based on past observations and experience, I can be outbid anytime (I have no control), even my very best bid. But sometimes I can dive in with last minute bids to help my chances. Nothing is certain.

I used to live in Optimism until I discovered it often leads to DEEP emotional disappointment. Now I live in Reality which spares me the emotional baggage.

I "lost" a bunch of nice, for their time, audio equipment during a ruinous 1st marriage. I was more or less forced to sell some too big for the space audio equipment including an early PS Audio power amp, a pair of JBL l-166 Horizon speakers and a NAD 3020 being used as a preamp. I still occasionally lament their loss, but am eternally grateful to my now wife (21 years) who understands my need for a dedicated listening space and a collection of audio components.

I married the girl I wanted. I'm good.

Not saying this is the case with parkergetdean, but the thrifty audiophile is rarely happy in issues involving a purchase. If they win an auction, they lament that they spent too much. If they lose, they lament they didn't get the item at their perceived value. 

For some audiophiles, not spending money is much more important than advancing the system's sound. The odd thing is that many have high net worth, yet refuse to believe there is better sound if more money is spent. Thus, the notions of "giant killers" and "diminishing returns" persist.