I would go with Sonus Faber stand mount (choose your investment level). I’d set up in the small room. Communal rooms are usually poor for many reasons. Personally I would look at the Audio Research I/70. You can add an optional DAC card, and then all you need is a streamer to go... maybe a Aurender N200.
I would do some investigation on why headphone systems give you headaches... is it a physical thing... pressure from above or on your ears or fatigue. My headphone system is one of the real joys of my life. But it came about over decades of effort in careful choice as technology moved on. The sound on my headphones is warm and musical with absolutely no hint of fatigue or noise. You can see my systems under my ID.

