....imho, I don't think 'bagelphones' will ever be a thing.....
Think back to the 'Princess Leia cinnamon roll hairdo' tropes....
Does one enhance the 'seal' with the cream cheese?
Since the 'proper bagel is boiled in its' creation, is that the time one seeks to fit them to one's port and starboard non-exponential 'horns'?
Sounds painful....
Perhaps fuzzy covers that refer back to the fuzzy covers on toilet seat lids and the tush grommets, the sort of thing the spouse succumbs to at some point...
Perhaps a skinning with wet-suit neoprene.....or leather....(pant, pant)...