seller etiquette

Why would you think a seller would hold his sub for you without receiving either a sizable deposit or payment in full from you?

At this point I keep repeating myself and it feels like kindergarten with "Uh huh"s and reading/cognitive issues

I would think the seller would hold it for me because we agreed on a time and place and there were no ifs and buts. Full asking price. Just a pickup. No listening. If there were ifs and buts, it should have come up in 20+ messages. It's how humans communicate. On the planet where I live. 

But I understand: he did nothing illegal. My question was: how could I have avoided it. 

@roadwhorerecords I sooo appreciate your kindness. It makes me feel so not alone. 

“There is no way that I would pay the full price and then pick it up at a later date.  That's just asking for trouble.” 

@rick_n - That is exactly how sales work on this site, USAM, eBay, and a bunch of other sites.  You pay first, and then trust that the seller will ship your purchase to you.

@dekay 

I understand you're not wanting to answer the question, believe me, if I was like you, I would avoid it too. 

I admittedly have never bought used audio equipment from a private seller, but I have bought and sold used cars privately a few times. My take on this is that once a price is agreed upon as well as a date and time to consummate the sale, the seller should make it clear whether he wants either full or partial payment in advance to guarantee the transaction. It’s not up to the buyer to make an offer to do so since the seller controls the terms of sale. A potential buyer can only meet the seller’s requirements if he knows what they are. I understand that in this case the seller apparently tried to let the buyer know that he had another offer, but under the circumstances of the prior agreement I think he should have given the original buyer more time to respond.

As far as there being "no honor in capitalism", that's a pretty jaded view. And if it's true, then why is a company's good will worth something when it's sold? A business that mistreats its customers will usually not be in business for long.