why do so many discussions turn contentious?

I still love this forum

It’s because people that exist primarily online have almost zero consequences for their cowardly bullying  responses. They enjoy their “ virtual” power and most likely are miserable souls. They try to politicize anything. I bet most of them in person do not act that way. Jekyl in person and Hyde online. All of my hobbies with online forums have become like this in the last decade or so. Years ago when I first started seeing “ what is the best” forums I knew we were in trouble. Somehow winning has infiltrated everything in our culture.

I have always been impressed by the amount of knowledge and passion for audio and music expressed in these forums.  I like how people are willing to share their experiences with others.  This is true when I first joined (2000?) and it's still true today.  I think the OP's question is a little Pollyanna-ish in that there's always been heated discussions, sometimes respectful and courteous, but frequently childish and mean spirited.  It's never been perfect.

What encourages me about this thread is the number of people who have contributed who have low posting counts.  Is it possible that there's a vast silent majority of forum users?  I have 4,000 some odd posts, but it's taken me twenty years to reach that total.  My post are always highly intelligent, insightful, technically astute, historically accurate and built on a foundation of unassailable logic, but even I wonder if I really had 4,000+ things to say about audio and music.  Yet I've also noticed that some user(s) have multiples of my total posts, but have only been posting for two years.  Is it actually possible for someone to have 15,000 things to say that are worth saying within two years?  The obvious answer is no.  The easiest solution for dealing with people who really don't have anything worthy to contribute is to just ignore them.  You see their names multiple times in a thread -- don't read the thread.  In the long run you'll be happier.

it is easy, folks....play nice and follow the golden rule....this is not a pissing contest, "mine is bigger/better/more expensive than yours"....if you dont have something nice or constructive to say, simply dont say anything....if you wish to disagree, please remember the largely subjective nature of audio, and be polite, as if you were sitting with the person you are chatting with.....EASY BREEZY!!

Dr. Johnson, quoted above, had it right. Discord happens because all human activities are managed by fallible humans -- beings described in all literature as often cranky, forgetful, envious, stubborn, spiteful, petty, boastful, vengeful . . .  excepting only those few Almargs with never a harsh word, never a personal mission or grievance, ever eager to listen/read, slow to speak/write. But their kind are rare in here -- because "here" is a forum of ENTHUSIASTS! The kind of folk who say "Nortons and Indians and Greavses won't do!" Enthusiasts are ENTHUSIASTIC!. Those tubes suck! A pox on Mark Levinson! And so forth ad infinitum. And yet, I learn from this stuff. Even the snarkiness can be pretty damned amusing. So let enthusiasts be enthusiasts, lean back and watch the parade, don't blame humans for their natural human frailties, never lose your sense of humor, and be willing to laugh at yourself when necessary.