Tone arm holes do not line up - best way to attach TT?

Do you have the Reed 3P manual?  If not - download here -  Bedienungsanleitung-Tonarm-Reed-3P.pdf (bohne-audio.com) and follow directions accordingly.  

When you say the turntable can handle a 12" tonearm - does it have an adjustable armboard - each tonearm has a specific mounting pattern.  

For the tonearm to fit, the pivot to spindle distance must be set to a distance of  295.6mm (roundup to 296mm).  Refer to the above manual to determine the pivot point - Figure 5 Item 1.  Make sure you have all adjustments initially set as specified in the manual - including Anti-Skate; too little of which may cause the tonearm to fly to the spindle.  

Something is "off", if you set the VTF to 2 g (for what cartridge?) and the tonearm flies across the grooves toward the spindle. Any VTF greater than 2g is very unusual (high) for most of the commonly used MC cartridges. As Antinn says, check anti-skate. Have you applied any anti-skate force at all? But even with zero AS, I would be surprised that the stylus cannot sit down in the groove well enough to avoid the issue you describe. Your best bet might be to consult a local friend who can actually visit your home and help you figure it out. Or the dealer that sold you all that expensive stuff. Don’t give up on it.
EDIT.  It just occurred to me that you also ought to check the routing of the wires that exit the arm wand at the rear and eventually provide outputs to the phono stage.  If the wires at the arm wand exit hole are twisted or torqued in some way, they could be responsible for an excessive side force that would be pulling your tonearm inward toward the spindle.  But Reed tonearms are well designed to avoid that issue, so this is a shot in the dark.

What's off is your spindle to pivot distance, which you already know is "a few inches outside spec". 

So here's the deal. All the alignment we're doing is to get the record to drag the stylus across smoothly without too much error. That's why someone came up with the idea of your long arm in the first place. A longer arm means a longer radius means less angle change across the record. This is all based on some guys idea. Its important not to get too caught up in some guys ideas. Except mine. You can do that with mine. 

Okay so you got this very long arm and its mounted too close to the spindle. So what you do, take your arm and swing it out over the platter and look where the stylus falls. Look where it falls relative to the arm pivot point. Look where it falls relative to an imaginary line drawn from the spindle through the stylus. Look how cockeyed that line is with the arm. That's your problem right there. 

Because the minute the record starts spinning its dragging on the stylus, and look at that angle. See? The spinning record is pulling the stylus towards the center. This happens on all spinning records by the way. Its just that normally the angle is almost square because the spindle to pivot distance is correct and so the arm doesn't go skating across the record like yours is doing. 

You're trying to fix this with excess VTF which seems logical but in reality is only making the situation even worse. Because its this skating force that is pulling it in. The greater the VTF the greater the force. Not to mention you're putting excess force on the cantilever, putting it out of alignment, but that's getting a little deep for you for now. 

Get a bigger piece of wood. Move that arm out where it belongs. Do not ever exceed recommended VTF. Skating problems are corrected with anti-skate adjustment, not VTF.

Thanks for all the troubleshooting with so limited facts. The cartridge is Triangle Arts Apollo. The TT is Hanss. 

I only exceeded the weight of 2 grams as an experiment to see what it would take to get the stylus to sit in the grove. It went around for 1/2 a revolution at a slightly heavier weight. 

I am using a homemade arm board made from the current armboard and a walnut piece temporarily until I get one from the Hanss. That may affect the fidelity but not the functionality. 

The anti skate setting might be an issue. I adjusted it in and out and it did not make a material difference. I think the angle of the arm is far enough off that it is not within anti-skate adjustment range. 

If we go back to basics - When I put the center pivot of the arm at the specified distance, 296mm, the cart cannot be turned far enough on the tone arm shell head to be adjusted within the grid. So isn't that my core problem? Maybe I over complicated my "ask". Any solutions to that? 

You wrote, "When I put the center pivot of the arm at the specified distance, 296mm..."  Are you saying that you can set up the tonearm such that the distance from the pivot point to the axis of the spindle is exactly or very nearly exactly 296mm and that 296mm is the recommended distance per Reed? (This is in contrast to Miller Carbon's major assumption, which was that you are off by a "few inches".)  It's very important to clarify this issue.  Anyway, IF you have been able to achieve the specified 296mm for P2S (shorthand for "pivot to spindle"), that is good.  Having done that, what are you using for a template to guide you in setting up the offset angle of the cartridge?  Be sure you are using a protractor that is appropriate for the P2S distance of 296mm.  If you are using a garden variety template, it may be designed for shorter tonearms, which would result in the problem you note, that you cannot achieve the proper angle for the cartridge.  In reality, if you have the P2S set correctly, that should result in close to proper stylus overhang, and you should not need to do much twisting of the cartridge body at all, with respect to the Reed headshell, to get you into good alignment.