Speakers free of grain, glare and steel?

Overly "polite" is not desirable either.

Do any of these options qualify as overly polite?

My tubed preamp does give me some leeway for "tuning." And I have a large menagerie of NOS flavors.

I wonder how the various recommendations stack up in terms of speed, density, layering, note decay, imaging and air?

Balance is the key. No gaping holes...

How do high-hats and brushes sound with Spendors and Merlins?

I've heard Merlin VSMs do high-hats and brushes very, very well. All the qualities you seek, plus a delicious delicacy to the sound that is rare and unforgettable. Note that the Merlins I heard were upgraded to a more recent version, and the electronics were very high end. However, with my champagne taste and beer budget, my Ohm Walsh 2000s get me surprisingly close to the Merlins.

As already mentioned, Fritz Carbon 7s definitely fit bill at your price range. Ditto the Selah Veritas monitor and the North Creek designs. All silk dome designs that are likely excellent choices for people bothered by edgy highs (as am I).

John

IMO and in my system high-hats and brushes sound like they should with the Spendor speakers I've owned. In reality they will only sound as good as what your upstream components can deliver to your speakers, your amps in particular. The Spendor's are pretty neutral, so they're not going to get in the way as much as say some electronic components might. As for overly polite, I don't think so. These speakers can rock if they have too. I've played mine loud with rock and alternative music and they chugged along just fine.

The Fritz Carbon 7's are very nice speakers. I had a chance to listen to them for a few days.