What system can adequately reproduce the sounds of a tanker being hit by torpedo ?

Well I have actually heard a torpedo hit a US Navy Tanker during RIMPAC 2012 sink EX. I actually loaded the said torpedo, I was on board HMCA Victoria a Canadian Submarine we shot a US Navy Mk 48 torpedo. Anyway there’s no speaker in the wold that can even come close its not what you may think don’t think movies and big booms, think fire cracker but a whole lot more. closes I can come to describe the sound is like an old wooden yard stick slapped on a table with a crack but really loud, maybe the lightning would be close too, oh a whip too (we were approx. 2200 yards from target when the torp hit close enough to feel the shock wave shortly after the crack). As a serving 21 years submariner I don’t find it offensive at all we all need some humor in our lives :-).

Once upon a time I used to work in a group of submariners, including sub skippers. One story they told was recording the clicking sound of a school of snapping shrimp 🦐 and overlaying that sound over voice communications when transmitting. The receive submarine also had the shrimp 🦐 overlay in the receiver so the voice message could be recovered by removing the overlay. That’s back before spread spectrum communications.

https://youtu.be/rU_gKrKWECQ

Geoff, OK. Now if you were working with or even talking with Hedy Lemarr you would have some serious interest for us, your humble readers. What a lady and story.

I’m somewhat familiar with Hedley Lamarr. Is that close enough? 

I would just love to be able to say yes, but you've pulled up a little short.  But maybe you can offer a line of "Brilliant Beans" to compliment the pebbles.  Remember where you got the idea when you hit it big.