Why not horns?

it seems like a no-brainer that everyone would want this performance

One man's "no-brainer"(BTW,I hate that term!!)is another man's "no way in hell".Everyone doesn't precieve sound the same as you do.I find most horns too "in the face" for my liking.I'm glad you've found speakers you really like,it is sometimes a long and frustrating process.

I dislike their sound.

if a room is lively already, horns might not be a good idea ( not saying it cant be done ), but maybe a speaker that is a little bit on the warm side would be a better choice.

The very best horn designs run at about 3% THD when played loud and this will distortion is audible and in treble.

Conventional non-horn designs can play loud at 0.3% THD and often much lower in the treble - pretty much inaudible.

You are talking at least a factor of 10 more distortion in a compression horn design...

The principle advantage of horns is that they are more efficient and play louder with less power. This efficieny comes at a price which is compression in the horn throat and a higher level of distortion at louder levels.

At modest levels horns can be very competitive in terms of sound quality/distortion.