How many audiophiles to screw in a light bulb?


This occured to me as an addendum to the current "Wacko" thread:

How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to tell all the others that they should be using HIS light bulb, which blows away all the competition. Worth fifteen times the price he paid, the light caused him to deposit his jaw somewhere in the room where he first witnessed the light of this amazing bulb. He also requests if anyone should find his jaw that he would be grateful for its prompt return as he hasn't been able to eat any solid food ever since.

Three to argue about bulb's placement in the room for maximum light dispersion.

Six to insist that the bulb would render superior light if powered by the Phallic Serpent $2500 power cord.

Two to insist that light bulbs are old technology and introduce distortion into the spectrum of light.

Four to declare that a light bulb is no substitute for "real" light, and to greater appreciate the light the bulb provides one must also go out and absorb as much "real" light as possible.

Three to ask why there are so many used light bulbs on the market.

Two to suggest a power regenerator may stabilize the bulb's output and provide for greater enjoyment of the light eminating from it.

Twelve to argue the chain of hierarchy in delivery of the optimum output of light from the bulb.

One to design a custom stabilizing harness for the bulb, fabricated from polished steel and burled Bubinga wood to assure the bulb will be held in place and be immune to all vibrations.... in great style. Filled with lead shot, of course.

Four to suggest doing several A/B/A comparisons of different bulbs before deciding upon one.

Six to quote the recent bulb shootout in The Absolute Light that declared that Home Depot bulbs are every bit as good as NOS GE bulbs.

Three to decry that it's all snake oil, and point out that the rest of the bunch are all whackos and the world is coming to an end anyway.

OK, I'm sure some of you can come up with a few more....

Marco

jax2
5 magazine reviewers to do a round the clock test to determine if the light bulb of the week is more powerfull at night than during the day? Or, just weaker during the day??

Same reviewers to determine If McIntosh or Mark Levinson white gloves do a better installation job.
Has anybody hard wired a bulb? And all this effort wasted
if you are using dirty power.....
Three delivery companies who claim the bulbs would be screwable if you had just used enough peanuts.
1 to ask what kind of car they should buy.
10 to feel victimized by people who are happy with sunlight.
100 to feel morally superior to those who use sunlight.
1000 to feel mentally superior to those who use sunlight.
17 to discuss the differences between East coast and West coast styles.

39 to discuss proper turn-on & turn-off procedure.

4 to argue the whether a dimmer switch shortens the life.

20 to experiment with how often you should remove the bulb for cleaning and another 38 to debate whether or not to use some type of cleaner or contact enhancer, such as Bold Glow.

One to write a white paper about how the light really works.

One to say it was his idea all along & sues for the use of the word.

3 will get together & modify the angle of the threads for better alignment.

4 will feed off that idea and modify the material for better transfer of power.

5 will feed off that idea and design even better filaments.

Somebody will point out it's against code.

Somebody else will point out that varies state to state, country to country.

Somebody else to say if it's done correctly, there's no need to worry.

A few inquires where to contact qualified installers.

Which shops to avoid-you know, the ones that treated you like dim lits.