How many audiophiles to screw in a light bulb?

This occured to me as an addendum to the current "Wacko" thread:

How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to tell all the others that they should be using HIS light bulb, which blows away all the competition. Worth fifteen times the price he paid, the light caused him to deposit his jaw somewhere in the room where he first witnessed the light of this amazing bulb. He also requests if anyone should find his jaw that he would be grateful for its prompt return as he hasn't been able to eat any solid food ever since.

Three to argue about bulb's placement in the room for maximum light dispersion.

Six to insist that the bulb would render superior light if powered by the Phallic Serpent $2500 power cord.

Two to insist that light bulbs are old technology and introduce distortion into the spectrum of light.

Four to declare that a light bulb is no substitute for "real" light, and to greater appreciate the light the bulb provides one must also go out and absorb as much "real" light as possible.

Three to ask why there are so many used light bulbs on the market.

Two to suggest a power regenerator may stabilize the bulb's output and provide for greater enjoyment of the light eminating from it.

Twelve to argue the chain of hierarchy in delivery of the optimum output of light from the bulb.

One to design a custom stabilizing harness for the bulb, fabricated from polished steel and burled Bubinga wood to assure the bulb will be held in place and be immune to all vibrations.... in great style. Filled with lead shot, of course.

Four to suggest doing several A/B/A comparisons of different bulbs before deciding upon one.

Six to quote the recent bulb shootout in The Absolute Light that declared that Home Depot bulbs are every bit as good as NOS GE bulbs.

Three to decry that it's all snake oil, and point out that the rest of the bunch are all whackos and the world is coming to an end anyway.

OK, I'm sure some of you can come up with a few more....


Just a few more that came to me after the fact:

Seven to suggest getting the bulb upgraded to "reference level" by a gentleman in southern Kansas who used to work for the bulb factory.

Four to suggest swapping out the socket for a hospital grade socket. Cryoed of course.

Six to suggest the newest bulb convention offered in limited editions which can only be screwed in to proprietary sockets.

Sixteen to declare that the Chinese made bulbs are every bit as good as the European and American bulbs.

Twelve newbees to insist they've never seen anything like the DK Designs light bulb, especially when powered by the Cyberlight cords!

Three to ask Sean what he thinks of this whole bulb screwing-in thing.

Six to check out what bulb Albert Porter is using.

One hundred and four to discuss what kind of car they own, and what other hobbies they enjoy besides bulb-insertion.

Two to point out that bulbs are off-topic for audiophiles.

Four to decry the outrageous profits being reaped by the light bulb executives.

Three to write independent reviews of the light bulb being screwed in.

They just keep coming to me!

And then there will always be a few folks who won't know what a light bulb is, what it does, or at a mininum how you to define the term before they can get into a dissussion about how to use it. Some of us just have dimmer bulbs than others. :-)
No audiophiles; the dealers prefer to do all of the screwing.
vote taken regarding how many foot pounds of torque each bulb was screwed into the socket with lit the best?
research and development costed a bundle for the special bulb torque wrench alone. there was a almost unanimous vote until someone suggested using Walker sst on the socket which required testing to resume.
Don't forget about the gargantuan, corrugated, razor-sharp, aluminum heat-sink around the base (bass?) of the bulb. I'm sure some would argue that that gives the bulb's light more of a mid-hall perspective, at which point we would all be reminded that this is subjective and a matter of personal taste...
You guys have it all wrong, a simple silver coating will enhance the output of a el cheapo light bulb that competes for one tenth the cost of all of the above higher priced models and make things so bright! Special applicator provided of course and if you act right now, they will throw in an extra ounce of the maigc stuff! You can acutally hear the difference!!!

Gotta go and change my sub-pannel now.

Happy Listening.
And since a light bulb is a tube, its wattage is of course "better" than the solid state one, which would be an LED, I guess. Musn't forget that since NASCAR uses only LEDs in their race cars, tube light cars can't be as good, though.
Bob P.
Three to suggest that your bulb have a balanced, silver connection on it.

Three more to suggest that balanced light bulb connections only matter if you're running the light more than 30 feet.
How much does the labor cost to replace light bulb?
Twelve to point out that the bulb in question is too small for the room it is in
and a more powerful bulb should be used.

Six to suggest an external crossover linking the bulb to additional bulbs
providing a broader coverage of light.

Two to insist that a simpler circuit is superior, and that the single bulb is the
more pure solution and does greater justice to the truest expression of light.

One to build their own DIY light bulb.

Seventeen to suggest various tweaks to improve the performance of the light

Nine to suggest using a battery power-source for a more stable expression of

Two to insist that no one has improved upon the tried and true candle as a
light source.

Seven to suggest various room treatments to enhance the dispersion of the
light in the room.

Three to replace the light switch with a Swiss-made rheostat.

Fourteen to suggest a dedicated circuit with an isolated ground would
improve the bulb's performance.

Three to ask if the bulb is appropriate for Home Theater use.

Six to ask why, when they put their ears directly on the bulb, they hear a
humming noise, and what can they do to get rid of it.

You MUST use an inch pound torque wrench or you will break the bulb!!!!!!
Man, that mirror your holding up Marco sure is clean! I have been heavily surfing the audio forums for over 3 years and after reading this, I am grining like a fool but nodding my head.

Now close it down dammit, you're pulling people away from the thread I started!

Oh yeah, three to point out that all bulbs give off exactly the same amount of light as they performed a DBT.
Four to state they are suffering from fatigue after prolonged exposure to their

Sixty four to establish and proliferate an entirely new vocabulary to describe
the various attributes of light bulbs and the light they produce.

Sixteen to wax rhetorical on the one bulb they should never have sold back in
the mid 80's.

One to shamelessly plug the bulb they currently have for sale, and explain the
various reasons they are selling it even though it is the finest bulb they've
ever owned.

Three to check with their wives to make sure the bulb in question is
acceptable for their homes.
One in "Bulbophile" to suggest that the latest Mark IV version, with "bulb chimneys" for improved convection cooling, will put out a few more watts than the one you have at even lower distortion than you have, which you can't hear anyway. (read on)

6 to help tilt back your bulb for the correct phase and time, even though you have a load of ear wax thick enough to be able to screw a bulb into your ear canal without falling out, ala "Uncle Fester", who happens to resemble a reviewer in the defunct magazine, "The Bulber".

4 to lament the good old days, while reading 1970s issues of "Bulb Review".

I have more, but the grass need cutting....with ear protection, of course!
a thread inquiry posted to determine when one needs to be changed
the light bulb will never challenge the superiour light of the sun though... TAS The Absolute Sunlight
136 to tell us that the bulb (solid state)is too bright & they are going back to candles (tubes).
73 to debate whether the light shines clearer with the shade on or the shade off.

8 to test the light response with a Rives lumenecence gauge tool and a special $199. test lamp.

27 to explain why the light shines better at night than during the day.

1 to ask if the bulb can be modified for use in the UK.
Depending on the wattage the burn in time will vary. Of course I'll need to get the most recent Hi End Light Bulb magazine to see what the reviewers say...
Four to debate whether they should replace the bulb now, or wait for the introduction of the newfangled light bulb recently previewed in The Absolute Light.

One to advise that the light from the bulb looked much brighter in the store that at home.
Laughing at thats what I'm talking about.Now thats healthy boys.O.K now everyone take tomorrow off and go screw ...I mean tighten your speaker posts.
One to ask, "will the bulb perform better if you leave it on all the time?". Two who answer yes but it won't last as long. Fourteen to argue the point till the thread gets too nasty and the moderators pull the plug. At which point a new thread starts on those little donut things that are suppose to make your bulb last forever to which five point out various weaknesses in said donut and call them " snakeoil products. To which eleven oldtimers talk about the one in their garage which has been working for 40 years!
None, cause true audiophiles listen in the dark.
six to dispute whether the light emitted from the chosen bulb comprises a "new" format.

14,368 to perceive if the lightbulb, once inserted into the socket, turns around them or they around the lightbulb.
4yanx, don't you mean most audiophiles are "in the dark"?
is the lightbulb from europe or asia? is the connection made of copper or silver? is it receiving "dirty" power? is all the power arriving in the bulb at the same time? is a burn-in period needed?
I didn't see anyone comment on how much "burn in" time is required before you can really consider it light!
12 to ask why there are so many bulbs listed on AGon now

6 to ask whether it should be a Phillips or GE bulb

15 to make derogatory comments on the Monster bulbs

1 dealer to note that the cynics can't be wrong, even though 6 month old bulbs are selling for a fraction of new
and dropping like rocks

20 to line up for the Signature edition, which is identical to the non-sig, except some dunce "signs" it, and bigger dunces buy it.

50 to send their bulbs in for expensive mods that immediately reduce the value of the unit
Now light bulbs available in Multi-LED Direct Replacement. Shades(no pun intended) of 1984. Classic Tube lovers (analog - incandescent) will argue that the new Digital/LED lights are too harsh and bright. This problem will be fixed by the new Burr-Brown-designed 24-bit high resolution ADR's (Analog to Digital Rectifiers). This, in turn, will be followed by the inevitable comment "I can't see spending an extra $39.95 when I can't See the Difference.....and on it goes....

Great thread BTW.
Anybody know where I may score some new old stock bulbs???
Four to declare with great certainty that the very finest bulbs ever were produced for military purposes between 1956 and 1961 in a small factory in Belgrade, and that viewing the light from these bulbs is sure to transport you directly to Nirvana on a non-stop flight in a first-class seat with Angelina Jolie sitting beside you! Three of the four happen to have a stash of the Serbian wonder bulbs, a few of which they may let go for the right price.

Six would never even install the bulb as they will have already upgraded to a superior bulb in the time the bulb was in transit to them. Those bulbs could be seen for sale on Bulbogon with a "10/10" rating (still in the sealed box).
Damn I thought you were supposed to snap them in. me fingers are freakin bleedin.
6 newbies to declare it's the best bulb under $20,000!

14 to argue optimal warm up time, after turn on for peak performance.

9 to declare the benefits of clear glass for a more resolving and "cleaner" light.

9 to declare the detriments of clear glass causing the light to be too bright and "harsh."

4 to suggest a soft white bulb to help tame the harsh brightness...

4 to state emphatically the soft white bulb smears accuracy and renders everything too euphoric.
If there will be more than one than it's gonna be a group sex.
You can easily see how this has all become a tower of bulble
Newbie looking for advise(sic) on best bulb under $2000.00. Have looked at GE and Sylvania. I'm looking for more base (sic). LOL!
5 magazine reviewers to do a round the clock test to determine if the light bulb of the week is more powerfull at night than during the day? Or, just weaker during the day??

Same reviewers to determine If McIntosh or Mark Levinson white gloves do a better installation job.
Has anybody hard wired a bulb? And all this effort wasted
if you are using dirty power.....
Three delivery companies who claim the bulbs would be screwable if you had just used enough peanuts.
1 to ask what kind of car they should buy.
10 to feel victimized by people who are happy with sunlight.
100 to feel morally superior to those who use sunlight.
1000 to feel mentally superior to those who use sunlight.
17 to discuss the differences between East coast and West coast styles.

39 to discuss proper turn-on & turn-off procedure.

4 to argue the whether a dimmer switch shortens the life.

20 to experiment with how often you should remove the bulb for cleaning and another 38 to debate whether or not to use some type of cleaner or contact enhancer, such as Bold Glow.

One to write a white paper about how the light really works.

One to say it was his idea all along & sues for the use of the word.

3 will get together & modify the angle of the threads for better alignment.

4 will feed off that idea and modify the material for better transfer of power.

5 will feed off that idea and design even better filaments.

Somebody will point out it's against code.

Somebody else will point out that varies state to state, country to country.

Somebody else to say if it's done correctly, there's no need to worry.

A few inquires where to contact qualified installers.

Which shops to avoid-you know, the ones that treated you like dim lits.
How many Smurfs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they screw in little houses, not in lightbulbs.

I have a nice G.E. light bulb, hand made, from the 20's. I save it for special occasions. It throws beautiful yellowish light on everything. I know, I wouldn't say it is neutral, but it is especially appealing when used to lighten up a romantic occasion... Should I continue to use it? I imagine this item is highly sought after in Japan, and may be I should just sell it to a collector and finally go for Halogen? These HH52B seem terrific...
7 to argue which light bulb creates the darkest backgrounds. discern where the bulb was constructed and if it were in a sterile facility. consider the best packing manner to provide for safe bulb delivery. argue about which material is best to use for the filament. recreate the vacuum procedure as a model for future DIY bulb projects.
I need some help guys. I purchased a GE bulb, 100 watts mono version, white powder coated with silver coated base. It has worked flawlessly for about one week. Now when I turn on the power from my Krell light stand, model KSA-1000, the bulb now blinks on and off for several seconds, then goes almost dark and then burns really brightly, even brighter then when I originally purchased the bulb last week. I have emailed the manufacturer about this issue and have not received a response from Bob the bulb builder at GE. Has anyone else had this problem with their GE bulb? Has anyone received a response from the manufacturer? Is GE still in business?

Other system components:
DIY power plant powered either by water wheel or windmill with automatic switch mode and battery back-up generator. Ten gauge cryo treated solid core 100% copper wiring, with dedicated sub-panel and circuit breaker. Separate star grounding system. Elrod "lightening sig 5" power cord. Custom ceramic bulb socket and external on/off switch wired with solid silver wire.

Thanks for your assistance in this matter.
Newbee: Bulb turns off with switch in up position, please help.

Seasoned Audiophile: SEB, (single ended bulb), is the only way to go.
Thiry-five - One to install a dedicated line to the socket for the purest light. One to cryo'd the switch and scoket. One to put put a dampening ring around the bulb. One to screw it in, and 31 to tell you their bulb is better than the one you're using.
Wait a minute! Don't the Amish consider light bulbs snake oil?
Bigkidz, Western Electric and General Electric recently merged to produce a new WE/GE Reveal 300BE Lightbulb.

Reveal lightbulbs from WE/GE-300BE unlock the hidden color in system.

Your system will never sound as good as it does under the light of Reveal 300BE light bulbs from WE/GE.

By simply replacing standard incandescent bulbs with WE/GE-300BE Reveal bulbs, you'll notice colors and shades that you would have never known were there.

Reveal light bulbs bring out the Truer Colors of all your Cindy Lauper Cd's, Lp's, Sacd's.

It's an instant system makeover at a fraction of the cost to re-configuring.

At WE/GE the Reveal 300BE has been tested Time After Time with the same results.

WE/GE "We bring good things to Listening, we bring good things to Lights".
OK so if I am repalcing two light bulbs and reverse the polarity on one with the room be dark?