Where has the respect gone?

Ezekiel,

You're correct. My suggestion is to kill them with kindness. I actually have seen this work recently. There is a certain poster that is very knowledgeable but very argumentative and insultiing with highly respected members here. In this case English may not be his first language which adds to the problem. The short story is that he apppeared to attack a respected members opinion. That member simply replied that he was sorry if he was incorrect rather than escalating it into an argument. Surprisingly, the attacker came back expressing an apology if he came across too harshly. This guy had been criticized repeatedly for his aggressive behavior to no avail but one incident of backing away from an argument did it. In this case we may be on the road to recovery.

Let's just keep things in perspective here too. For every jerk that waits in the wings to pounce on a different opinion there are multiple wonderful people that contribute quietly and with respect. We simply need to ignore the twisted types or be nice to them. Remember, it does take two to fight.

Counterpoint

While there are a few bad apples here and there on Audiogon, I've been impressed by the respect, helpfulness of other members in threads and in transactions. Yes, lets point out and banish those who use profanity, excessively rude or just plain dishonest, but let's also acknowledge how well the community works. I'm continually impressed by the integrity of this online group.

I think the digital people tend to be harder and edgier, while tha analog folks seem softer and more forgiving...

Unfortunately, life is entirely made up of varying degrees of good and bad, and that includes Agon.

The upshot? There seems to be much more good here than bad. Loads of knowledge, experience and camaraderie.

Yes, there are some knuckleheads, disruptors and detractors, but by and large, I feel like it has been worth my time to hang out here. Besides, the price of admission is pretty reasonable, don't you think?

Ezekiel, thanks for your post on this topic. It is valuable to consider. Spates of rudeness in the Audiogon forum threads seem to come and go, but usually the conversation here seems to me much more civil and respectful of others than some other places on the web. And I think that is because, largely, people posting here maintain a high degree of respect for each other when crafting their responses. It is not always the case, and sometimes a thread will totally degenerate.

The key to maintaining civility, in my opinion, lies with each of us who participate on Audiogon. I think we have a shared obligation to step in and "name it" when conversation becomes disrespectful of others or when personal attacks start up: to point out the inappropriate behavior specifically, describe why it is inappropriate and ask that it stop. Each time any one of us avoids doing that, we give license for that poor behavior to continue and to draw others in.

None of us should be "the forum police," but I value the comraderie and respect for each other that exists most of the time here on Audiogon. So, over time I've decided to be willing to step into conversations to name bad behavior that I think is destructive of this thing I value. And I've been pleased to see others join in doing so as well. (Lugnut: I think you and I may have different takes on the resolution of the interactions you describe, but I agree it all seems far better in recent weeks and I hope it will continue on this more civil basis.)

As you said so well:

"Let us all remember to respect the other person and let this stay a fun job, hobby or whatever it my be to you! Remember it starts with us all!"

To which I would just add, don't turn aside from the hard work of pointing out behavior that consistently is not civil or not respectful others, because the quality of the forums is up to all of us.
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