2.2 to 2.8 grams of VTF is really not all that high. You will be fine.
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No, years ago Decca did an experiment where they played a record several hundred times and then examined it for wear with a microscope. They were using 3.5 grams and found none. The cartridge they were using had a very good stylus, the polish on the diamond , along with proper stylus shape and alignment are the determining factors rather than tracking force per se. Also a little heavy does far less damage then a little too light, in the latter case the stylus can bounce up and down in the groves.
I would add that Jonathan Carr, the author of the Lyra cartridges, which all use line contact stylii, forwarded some information from research originally done by Namiki, that shows that a conical stylus of the dimensions of the Denon actually contacts the groove over a greater area than a common elliptical stylus. This means that the tracking force is distributed over a greater contact patch making the actual force at any given point less. Line contact (ie VanDenHul, Geiger, Shibata, Fine Line, etc.) stylii have ever greater contact area with the groove wall.
I was attempting to sell my brand new Denon 103R because I was concerned about my vinyl. However, with your assurances, I installed it and it is an absolute delight.
It is not even broken in, yet listening to the fullness of the instruments and the sonic resonance of the amphitheater, the Denon seems to trace every nook and cranny in the grooves.
Thank you for your in depth explanations.