About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Hi Pat:

And hi to Alex and Jade and Nrchy...nice to read your posts.

Ya Pat, we seem to push the technological side to the nth degree.

Talking about audio above you say "Whatever. Technological advances have taken us beyond any reasonable definition of enough in this regard."

This reminds me a little of what you say in the 10-19 post about your feelings about maybe applying to much technology in some medical situations.

Maybe it's just our "never enough" approach to things in this country when it comes to technological fixes.(not to discount the good sides of it all)

Great to hear you celebrated a BD.

I remain,
Clueless

Pat,

I got your email, thank you. I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart to you but your so far ahead of me, I won't try.

Tell Barb I said "Happy Birthday." As a gift, perhaps she could be the "dancing girls" of your dreams in your own private party. That should motivate you enough to let your friends at Audiogon how your doing.

Wish I could be there to lend a hand, I'll call again soon. Hopefully my timing will be better next time. As always, I feel worthless, wish I could do something really good for you.

For those interested, and have not had the pleasure of gazing upon the handsom mug of Mr. Lugnut, check out the post by jphii 7/18/05. It's nice to put a smile to the words. Hope your finding peace this day Pat, Barb, and many friends. I hope the music is beautiful and finds a welcome home in the heart.
dav

Temptation. Good temptation. Temptation that challenges. That's what's on my plate today. But first, some general news as an update. We'll get to the rest of the story later.

I mentioned earlier that we had visited with a Hospice nurse and made our arrangements but hadn't yet begun the scheduled visits. Late last week I received a follow-up phone call with the basic purpose being to determine if we should start the visits. I told her I felt that since I could, for the most part, care for myself and motivate around the house without assistance that it was too soon but I did have an issue that concerned me. I went into limited detail about my eating and drinking issues, kind of wondering how long my body could tolerate the situation. She wanted to know what it is I eat so I explained that because I eat so very little I just get a small amount of whatever it is Barb is fixing, explaining also that Barb tries to fix things that are easy on me. I'm never tempted by meat or dairy as she doesn't prepare them any longer. This gal got a little annoyed with me saying that I just eat a little of...whatever. Then, she told me I should eat things that are super easy to digest like yogurt, applesauce and over cooked peas. Well, I did alter my diet and the verdict is not out yet on this change but at times I do eat a little more and it seems I want and do drink more than before. Is this good news? I don't know but I'll keep it up.

Saturday (Barb's birthday) wasn't a good day at all for me. Yesterday though I woke up feeling better than usual and was groomed by 10 am. We had a friend and his entire family of wife and three kids stop by unannounced and enjoyed a great visit. This was one of those gifts from God that I'm most thankful for. I've witnessed before in this thread but feel that I shouldn't go overboard in fear that I'd push someone of another faith or one that's on the outer fringes of faith away from it. With that thought in mind I'll keep this short and offer up at this time that I'm just explaining how amazing it is to find my existence filled with gifts that I can only explain are supernatural. Ray is a cop but also an assistant pastor at a local church. I've never attended this church because I don't want my current beliefs questioned, causing me doubt, or make anyone else question their beliefs if I were to express mine. Besides, I've found through the years that organized religion is all too often a business and that the message is used as a control of the customers. There are countless churches out there that don't fit in that box I've put them all in. I know this. When this family sat down I seemed to have my message once again pour out of me and expressed a desire for feedback. It was a very emotional experience for me. At times Ray would speak and intertwine what I was experiencing with gospel narratives reinforcing this is the way it should be. One of his detailed remarks was of a sermon he was working on that tied into exactly what was happening to me. This was uncanny in that of all the things one could sermonize about, this subtle aspect could go a lifetime without even being addressed. Again, this was a great visit that contained yet another message for me.

A fellow that I contracted with to do long term maintenance of our trees and shrubs decided to work in our yard for the day. To make a long story short, the interuptions prevented me from napping. A couple of friends who had scheduled a visit came over and we talked about a lot of stuff, laughed and had a generally good time. It was a good day.

In between the two groups that came over I fielded a phone call from a stereo club member, the guy that provided us with symphony tickets a few weeks ago. He's really laid a challenge before me. The Boise Philharmonic will be playing in our town at a really great venue at the NNU campus which is about five minutes from where we live and we've been offered complimentary tickets once again. I'm so incredibly touched by this and really want to go. I'm sure that I'll need a wheelchair to prevent testing my endurance, but other than that getting cleaned up will be the only real challenge. Here's a brief description of this event. Help me get pumped up guys.

Maurice Ravel's "Mother Goose Suite"
Kevin Puts' "Marimba Concerto" featuring Naoko Tadaka
Dvoraks' Symphony No. 3

I'd never considered the mirimba as a concert intrument but I've always enjoyed xylophone and vibrapone in jazz. It seems it would be an interesting mix. Thoughts?

Alex, Zuma is my favorite Young album because of Cortez The Killer, IMO the best song he's ever done.

Nate, I conveyed your birthday wishes. Others sent such greeting via email.

Craig, maybe I'm just a retro kind of guy.

Albert, you are far from worthless. Each time we speak I feel reinvigorated. We talk of all those things that life's about with the freedom of expression reserved for close friends. I don't need to be politically correct with you or even measure my remarks. That is priceless and worth more than one can measure.

Davt, even I like the photos posted here of Barb and I.

You know, there are numerous reference to me using glowing terms I feel uncomfortable with. Let's turn this around for a moment to get my take on you guys expressed. I have no choice but to be where I am going through what this is. I didn't step into this situation as a goal for accomplishing something. It just is. You guys don't have to be a part of any of this. You come to this thread voluntarily. Many of you have called, mailed, emailed or made arragements for us to meet face to face. You guys keep coming back. And I know that it hurts to ponder the words I write. There is a lot of misery you guys are a part of and I know fully the emotional cost involved as this has unfolded before you. This isn't morbid curiosity either. Tears are shed often for the trials of old Lugnut. You guys keep on keepin' on. You don't have to, but you do. You are the brave ones, the ones that are trying to discharge some of your life forces into my life to help me along the way. In my mind you are trying so very hard to give a part of yourselves, ripping bits and pieces from your souls in sacrifice to mine hoping and trying to keep me afloat. You have succeeded. The time we have spent together in these threads have been some of the most important moments of my entire life. I have absolute confidence that you all will remain faithful. I didn't get that from a simple desire to have it. No, you have just shown me that this is the way you are. Being the overly curious guy that I am I'd really like to know the answers now about things that probably can't be answered, at least in this lifetime. How many people follow this thread and never post to it? Do you guys feel as I do that we are a part of something that is so rare and special it defies conventional wisdom? Whenever you read about someone just checking into Audiogon after a long absence and stumbling across this thread is your reaction like mine, kind of other-worldly? Is there a nagging desire inside of you for this message to continue like I have? Has anyone else connected the dots as I have concerning a supernatural control of what is unfolding before us?

Thanks to you guys for being who you are and for allowing me to be me.

Mmmmmmmmmmm Cooked peas... and you say your not a saint.