I have wanted to be many things if I could start from youth again. A conductor is at the top of the list, but I don't "understand" music as a musician or conductor must. I learned to paint. When I say "learned," I mean that I was able to get past my conscious mind and allow my unconsciouos to take over. The same with writing and poetry. I can mostly get out of my conscious mind to hear music without symbolic thoughts (chatter in my mind) to interrupt my enjoyment. The more music sounds like the real thing (live) the easier it is for me to get involved, especially with rock n' roll.
One of the things I would have really liked to do is to study philosophy and write about asthetics. Music is a wonderful example. Great composers are not simply tapping into their unconscious minds, they are influenced and inspired by non-symbolic structures we all share. So, if I'm listening on my Tivoli radio and I am able to tap into those structures perhaps from Jung's Collective Unconscious? (I have not been able to do the rigorous study I would have liked to do) or something more Divine? all humanity seems to be able to share those structures that I will call transcendental, because I can't go back and study philosophy and find a more exact word.

