Jay's barbecue - disinvited

Yes, @audphile1 , but it would take a while, just like it did. He wrote it in 1953 and it was rejected by all major US publishers out of fear of obscenity charges. It was finally published in Paris in English in 1955 and then only in 1957 was a portion of it published in Anchor Review and then finally in 1958 Putnam published the whole novel in the US.  So, today, I’d imagine it would get non-print publication somewhere and then print somewhere, before it would get print publication in the US. (Recall that it took 12 years before Ulysses was published in full in the US., having been published in Paris by Sylvia Beach 12 years prior. Interestingly to me, I assume most folks don’t view Ulysses as even mildly obscene by today’s Netflix or HBO standards.)

[this might lead to a discussion of the Epstein Class, which i know some folks find a sensitive topic, so I’ll not go there.]

@kirkwallace 

I wish I shared your optimism, but I doubt Lolita would be published in any legit kind of way today. I was going to add "in the US", but honestly France ain't what it used to be either. Perhaps a small boutique publisher in Japan?

Same goes for Crash, the entire oeuvres of Hubert Selby Jr and William Burroughs, etc.

@devinplombier i hear you, but the good art (and lots of smut) will find a way to get out. (Now, don’t ask me whether Burroughs is likely to be found in high school libraries in much of the US. And in fairness, having only come to his work in college, I’m not sure what I would have made of it in high school.)

Anyone that offers red wine over a white carpet ought to know better...mho...

 @emergingsoul my expressed concern about not having any tubes anywhere. Gotta have more tubes.

….I need something visual.

That’s YOUR preference, not his. Since it’s his space, only his preference matters.

Quite different from offering helpful suggestions offered tactfully that benefits HIM, not to your individual self.

Suggestions is often welcome if it’s in their best interest, not so much if it’s criticism of their choices.

Tactfulness is important.

“What do you think about tube gear?” Is better than the challenging “Why don’t you have more tube gear?”

”Do you think a screen might be beneficial for this space” vs the accusation of wrongdoing “Why don’t you have a screen?”

From your response seems like your only pointing at Jay and am not taking any responsibility for your part, a simple apology is not a substitute.

We know you are very disappointed with not being invited to the BBQ, but Jay is simply responding to actions and non-actions taken by you. From Jay’s perspective you created a problem for him to deal with, then told him to spend his money to cover up your mistake. If you tried fix the spill to the best of your ability, you would have demonstrated taking responsibility for your own actions and that you cared about and respected his stuff. Instead you took the easy way out that cost you nothing but a verbal apology and ignoring what it cost Jay. Talk is cheap, but actions speak louder than words.