why are sellers to be trusted, but buyers are not?

I find it ironic that this subject came up today as I received my first oversees transaction from a seller for an old tape deck that I’ve wanted for, literally decades. The online experience was good, the communications with the seller, was good. There were verbal assurances that great care would be taken in preparing the tape deck for shipping…

I paid for it, in full plus shipping costs…It arrived today 5/11/26 DAMAGED. That in-and-of-itself was a great disappointment but it was obvious to me (and anyone else who could see the packaging) that the seller had no clue when it comes to knowledge of how to ship a heavy (44 lbs.) tape deck internationally. The tape deck came from a seller in Austria through the site Reverb.

Can you imagine my disposition and mindset when I read the follow up email today from Reverb, “Enjoy your new gear! It’s officially yours!”

Obviously there are now issues to be worked out…

I’m just about to go into uncharted watered of wanting to return an item and get a full refund.

That’s what I love about this forum. The information gathered from the members is invaluable. Albeit this tread came just a little late for me.

But, “I have learned Grasshopper!!”

I am seeing more and more sellers demanding F&F. No way. Not now. Not ever.

I sent nearly 2K via F&F for a component this year on USAudioMart who had 100% positive deals. I buy tubes on eBay with sellers who have 100% positive as well. I also bought tubes from a member here on Audiogon and he sent me the tubes to try before I bought them. All have gone off without a hitch. Reputation and trust. 

2K is about my limit however, and anything above that would be risky in my estimation. Escrow service lawyers, if shown to be experienced in that work, does sound like a good solution.

Personally, I would trust a lawyer who was also an audiophile like moto_man as this trade is a community and, for whatever reason, I feel comfortable with others who share my interest in this hobby. 

@gjfalls 

My condolences. Sad. 

This is definitely a possible outcome. I bought a high intensity lamp... the black ones with a leveraged arm with two heavy counterweights opposite the bulb and small hood on eBay. 

It came with the pivot mechanism destroyed. The counter weights were left on the unit. They screw off. The person put a huge effort into covering all the different parts with paper... making a box from several others. Clearly put in a lot of effort... but without a clue about physics. There was zero chance it was going to make it in tack. I felt really bad. Of course she had me throw it out, and I got a full refund. 

@ghdprentice 

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I’ve communicated with the seller via Reverb’s website where it all began. He’s in denial on his culpability in why and how the damage occurred. I paid $1,700 for a Vintage 1970’s TEAC 3340S Reel to Reel Tape Deck. I’ve wanted one since I was a young adult but couldn’t afford. The online presentation looked good. The seller claimed that the deck had recently been serviced. The seller mentioned that he was an engineer which I took into account because engineers tend to be precise in how they do things. But this guy literally put two wraps of bubble wrap around a 44 pound machine and put it in a makeshift cardboard box with no additional padding and sent it internationally (from Austria) via FedEx. When it arrived the right reel spindle was protruding through the cardboard box. I knew I was in trouble! After opening the box the right reel spindle was loose somehow behind the plate of the front of the deck and one of the empty reel’s center caps was destroyed. I stopped looking after that and contacted the Seller. He’s blaming FedEx. I’m asking to return his machine for a full refund.

This is my first purchase from someone overseas.

I’ll see how this pans out…GF