why are sellers to be trusted, but buyers are not?

To heck with F&F! There are cons seeking to get your money without shipping anything. If a seller can’t increase his price to cover a 3% fee he needs to only sell an item to someone locally. I’m not accepting the risk of losing big money to a seller with zero recourse if the item doesn’t work or he decides to simply pocket my money. What fool thinks that’s how to do business? This is simply a new trend by sellers asking for payment with the buyer absorbing all of the risk. You can ask. I don’t have to deal with you. End of story. 

Agree with Ian. Goods and services is the only way to go or pick up. Screw the fee saving on sales tax

Maybe as buyers we should pay half upfront and then another half after receiving the item in stated condition. Not going to happen, I guess.

Yeah, credit cards are usually fine to pay with. Paypal too.

I had two exceptions to this buyer sends money first rule.

Many years ago when I sent my Nakamichi deck to Willy Hermann for service for the first time, he sent it back to me before I had any opportunity to mail him a check. It was so usual that I asked him. He said : " You know, I have found the owners of high end Nakamichi decks to be a very trustworthy group, have never had problems of this kind with them".

Another example was when an Audiogon member selling Echole cables suggested he send them to me and if I wanted to keep  them I would pay, if not - returned them to him. Great cables, by the way, but too damn expensive. So I declined his offer but was really impressed and told him so. This too happened a long time ago.

I have luckily never had a problem as either a buyer or a seller.  I just made a  large purchase ($16K+), and checked out the feedback of the seller, spoke with him on the phone, checked that the phone number was indeed registered to the seller, and made note of the responsiveness to my emails.  All of those indicated a reputable seller and I sent the money by wire.  What I am wondering is why buyers and sellers do not avail themselves more of an escrow service or an attorney, where the money is not released to the seller under the buyer has received the goods as promised.  I am an attorney and would be happy to serve as an escrow agent for sales, for example.  That would put both buyer and seller on an equal footing, I would think.