why are sellers to be trusted, but buyers are not?

PayPal may release the payment to the seller, but it can still place a hold until the item is delivered. It also offers buyer protection—provided you pay the fee. The fee can be shared between buyer and seller.

In my view, this is the most secure approach for both parties. I never trust Friends & Family.

For lower-cost items, the fee is minimal—especially when split. For higher-value items, if you’re concerned about security but unwilling to pay half of a relatively small PayPal fee, then you’re probably not serious about purchasing the item.

To heck with F&F! There are cons seeking to get your money without shipping anything. If a seller can’t increase his price to cover a 3% fee he needs to only sell an item to someone locally. I’m not accepting the risk of losing big money to a seller with zero recourse if the item doesn’t work or he decides to simply pocket my money. What fool thinks that’s how to do business? This is simply a new trend by sellers asking for payment with the buyer absorbing all of the risk. You can ask. I don’t have to deal with you. End of story. 

Agree with Ian. Goods and services is the only way to go or pick up. Screw the fee saving on sales tax

Maybe as buyers we should pay half upfront and then another half after receiving the item in stated condition. Not going to happen, I guess.

Yeah, credit cards are usually fine to pay with. Paypal too.

I had two exceptions to this buyer sends money first rule.

Many years ago when I sent my Nakamichi deck to Willy Hermann for service for the first time, he sent it back to me before I had any opportunity to mail him a check. It was so usual that I asked him. He said : " You know, I have found the owners of high end Nakamichi decks to be a very trustworthy group, have never had problems of this kind with them".

Another example was when an Audiogon member selling Echole cables suggested he send them to me and if I wanted to keep  them I would pay, if not - returned them to him. Great cables, by the way, but too damn expensive. So I declined his offer but was really impressed and told him so. This too happened a long time ago.