why are sellers to be trusted, but buyers are not?

We buy and sell on sites like this so there is an exchange of 2 things that have an agreed upon equal value

the item being sold from a seller
money from a buyer

in all cases, the seller must be trusted to send the item as described, but the buyer is not trusted to send the money. And more and more, sellers are insisting to be paid in ways that have no recourse for the buyer, like PayPal F&F, Venmo, etc.

The item and the money are of equal value.. so why is one party to be trusted and the other is not? Why does the seller always insist on waiting to get paid before they ship? Why doesn’t the buyer insisting on getting the item before they will pay for it?

I have hundreds of perfect feedback going back over 20 years on multiple platforms, but the seller always insists I pay them first even if they have much, much less feedback. Why should I trust them if they don't trust me?

just curious

herman05-06-2026 5:37am

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thecarpathian Details Discussions Posts This discussion Message User 6,087 posts 05-06-2026 at 04:55pm Copy Comment URL Report Comment Edit Delete @yogiboy , I read the question the OP asked. That’s not the question you asked. "Have you ever bought anything that you did not have to pay first? If so name one! I sure can’t!!" That is the question you asked, and @larsman factually answered. Game, set, match. 😊
herman OP Details Discussions Posts This discussion Message User 2,308 posts 05-06-2026 at 05:14pm Copy Comment URL Report Comment Edit Delete well done Now that this has deteriorated into yet another childish pisssing contest I can unfollow it
larsman Details Discussions Posts This discussion Message User 3,123 posts 05-06-2026 at 05:18pm Copy Comment URL Report Comment Edit Delete @thecarpathian -
ghdprentice Details Discussions Posts This discussion Message User 9,402 posts 05-06-2026 at 05:19pm Copy Comment URL Report Comment Edit Delete The value of money is known with absolute certainty... the value of the goods are subjective.
jwei Details Discussions Posts This discussion Message User 255 posts 05-06-2026 at 05:20pm Copy Comment URL Report Comment Edit Delete COD or Cash on Delivery is still available in a limited form. For example, USPS will collect up to $1000 for a significant fee. While this gives the buyer a chance to look at a package and reject a shipment, it can be a cumbersome and expensive process and obviously requires the buyer's presence at delivery. However, it does allow a balanced transfer of value as the product is paid for simultaneous to its receipt.