Ask the local curmudgeon (me) anything related to tech or liquor. :)

Well the Waring Professional comes with little rubber feet. Which as michaelgreene has pointed out many times excessive damping results in mooshy margaritas. When properly tuned the pina colada opens up and you can see the coconut and pineapple spread deep and wide across the room in front of you. Or you could just forget to put the lid on, same result. 

You can fix ALL of that by simply adding a lot more rum. Same principle applies to audio. I'm pretty sure that's why my low end system down at my weekend getaway place sounds so good.....sometimes.

Amateur! As a professional mixologist I hope you know I would never ruin the ideal proportions of any drink just to add more alcohol! That is not what you do. You switch to straight shots!

Tech: Why don’t my $500 speaker cables sound 500 times better than lamp cord?

Liquor: Why the hell does $500 whisky taste 500 times better than lampcord-priced whisky?

"Why don’t my $500 speaker cables sound 500 times better than lamp cord?"

Who can say? For all we know you might have $500 lamp cords. And trust me, if you don't, you should. It makes all the difference in the world.

"Why the hell does $500 whisky taste 500 times better than lampcord-priced whisky?"

Again, it depends on the lamp cord price. $500 whiskey should not taste any better than $500 lamp-cord-priced whiskey.

You've got to give Erik more to work with here.