You know, I've been reading through this thread, smiling at seeing the same kind of thoughts that have gone through my head over the last 25 years in audio. Whenever I think I have something that sounds right in my home I go to a concert and come home laughing at how different it is. Does that mean my high end system is not "right"? No, but it does mean (as many have already pointed out) that it's pretty much impossible to recreate in a home the totality of a live music experience.
Many high enders (including myself) look for improved transparency in our home systems, while keeping the other desirable aspects of musical reproduction in the mix (pick 'em: PRAT, neutrality, frequency extension...). I choose this as a talking point because I have a recent example. We all hope to get the kind of transparent response that allows us to hear "the snap of the strings on a bass", the "sound of the stops on a saxophone", the "sound of the hammers striking the strings on a piano" - but not to mean that we are looking for a forward or in-your-face presentation.
I get to go to the Philadelphia Kimmel Center reasonably often. For those who have never been, it is a wonderous place to hear music. I've seen a number of classical and jazz performances there. The acoustics of the space are very fine. Last night I went to see Marian McPartland and Dave Brubeck. They each played for about an hour. Marian was fine, but Brubeck was pee in your pants GREAT!. Probably one of - if not THE - greatest jazz performance I've been to yet. He and his group were on fire; I had not expected a quartet of old men to be able to play like that.
Anyway, I was in the eigth row, and guess what? You CAN'T hear the stops on the sax, you CAN'T hear the snap of the strings on the bass, and you CAN'T hear the hammers in the piano hitting the strings. That's not to say you don't hear any cues, you do, but not in the way that we seem to be so happy with in home reproduction. Sure, if I was standing on the stage I probably would hear those things, but if the objective goal is to create an accurate portrayal of a performance then my home system fails.
Now, there are a ton of other factors that come into play at home: how closely the actual recording was miked, the speakers, the rest of the gear, probably 50 other things. But again, this doesn't mean that I'm unhappy with my system. I love the way it makes music. This is rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to get across is an example of how the real thing can often give you pause in regards to high end reproduction. Let's keep listening at home, but don't forget to go out and enjoy the real thing.
