What does listening to a speaker really tell us?

"I would think one would like to put the burden on the performance/recording to meet our needs and use our system to prop them up."

I 2nd this! Exactly what I have written several times before on this forum & over on AA.
IMO, the "awareness" of knowing whether a system is being true to the music comes w/ the knowledge of what instruments sound like in real life. This education occurs over a period of time in most of us. Then using this awareness & a budget, it behooves the listener to buy the most neutral electronics & speakers available for his/her budget. What I have also noticed is that every price range seems to have some components which are most neutral. The crux of the matter lies in finding them. As the budget grows, one can upgrade judiciously fully aware that not every more expensive piece is necessarily better sonically.

If I understand them correctly some people are arguing that if a specific piece of equipment makes them feel good, then it must be good equipment. That's an absurd notion. If that line of reasoning really were true, then a glass of alcohol would be considered an audiophile upgrade. It certainly increases toe-tapping musicality and the emotional involvement factor. Let's not lose sight that there is an objective reality somewhere beyond the firing pleasure synapses in our brains. No single piece of equipment adds emotion, musicality, involvement, etc. to music. All equipment, both recording and playback, can only add distortion to the electric based signal passing through. Neutral equipment simply distorts less than non-neutral equipment. All good familiarity with how real instruments sound, known high quality recordings, measurements, specifications and extensive long term listening can help one determine the relative distortion levels of a piece of equipment. This does not mean in the end we will all agree, since it's very clear that people have their own hierarchy of preferred distortions.

Audio is quite simply, at this stage, a quagmire.

>If I understand them correctly some people are arguing that if a specific piece of equipment makes them feel good, then it must be good equipment.

But if it's "good" equipment and doesn't make you feel good, would you buy it? Seems to me it boils down to what your goal is in assembling your system. If it is to get the most neutral reproduction of music, you might make one set of choices. If it is to get the greatest pleasure from listening to music, you might make different choices. It's all about preference, as you say. Which is why I cringe whenever I see people asking what is the best such-and-such. There is no "best", or rarely so. There is only "preferred."

"If it is to get the most neutral reproduction of music, you might make one set of choices. If it is to get the greatest pleasure from listening to music, you might make different choices."

In my books these 2 options are THE same thing! IMO, the most neutral system IS the most musical system 'cuz it is distorting the least & is being as faithful as it possibly can to the recorded music.