In a sense your like Little Red Riding Hood (and I mean this in a very positive way) walking through the dangerous forrest. That said, if you can find a professional who doesn't market equipment you'll probably end up with a fine system that compliments the rooms your working with.
As a professional Double Bassist I can tell you it's extremely rare to find tubed equipment in the playback chains of both pre and post production facilities. The use of tubes in microphone preamplifiers is common in the recording environment. You, being a novice, the maintenance involved with tube equipment should be a consideration.
Separate Home Theater and two channel playback is so much more flexible with a family. For HT I suggest a modern receiver with the latest 7.1, room correction, HDMI 1.3, driving seven matched speakers at least 90dB sensitivity. Separates are nice but save your budget for the two channel system. I find the Velodyne DD series subwoofers to be the most flexible in dealing with room correction. For a display, Pioneer Kuro or Elite plasma period. I recently upgraded my HT within a relitivly small space and added two speakers for the 7.1 and room correction, the difference is worth it.
For two channel buying components from venerable honest quality manufactures is the way to go. In the end the speakers are the instruments of the audio chain. Spend as much as can on the speakers in both systems. I can only recommend components that I've had personal satisfaction with in my home. The speakers I'd suggest are all dynamic systems (my preference) from Avalon Acoustics, Thiel, and Vandersteen. You may enjoy the presentation provided by panel speakers.
For electronics I have recommended Ayre in the past, a great company that hasn't been bought and sold, nice people, and wonderful support. LP player, Well Tempered classic if you can find one and some one who can set it up for you. The quality of the cartridge should be in line with the amount of LP listening you do. Digital playback, now this is a great place for tubes in the output stage or DAC.
These are my subjective suggestions based on my personal experiences which are limited. I struggled for years with products that simply sounded great in a store yet never became satisfying at home let alone what I heard in the studio. My acquaintance with a few audio professionals in both recording and film industries has lead me to my current systems which have become better than I expected. While each component has its place in the entire system my Avalon Eidolon speakers were the most substantial improvement overall. These speakers always sounded sleepy to me in stores. It wasn't until I lived with them for a week or so that I understood their strengths. When auditioning speakers they should sound equally well at low volume without the bottom dropping out, as they do at normal to realistic listening levels.
After all this proper setup of the two channel system is critical. This is an area a professional would be of great value.
Happy shopping.
