About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Pat- I can only echo Larry's eloquent words. Every single one of them. In reading that post, I am reminded of Mark Twain's words (I'm paraphrasing here)- "I am sorry that my letter is so long, but I didn't have time to write a shorter one". I think about you several times each day, frustrated that there is nothing concrete I can do for you. And Patrick, don't underestimate your strength, composure and grace. There are many others who have not shown your style. Maybe it will give you some pride to know that I aspire to be half as honest to myself and others, as you have been. Our combined experience here has opened my eyes to the positive power in the internet, FWIW. This is a real "virtual village" here at Audiogon.

WC- I'm sorry for your loss. My wife is one dose ot taxol away from finishing her breast cancer treatment (oops, except for the tamoxifen. Its been easy for me to think that this is the end of her illness; you have reminded me that its just one battle and that I need to focus on living in the present, since the future is a big question mark. This should not take a cancer diagnosis for a loved one to fully appreciate, but sometimes it does.

Pat, it's very hard to read your words especially after I watch many of my keen went the same path through the chemo tortures...
Now's the turn for my dad, a very painful part of my heart. Every next one is longer and larger and his right leg is already numb.
Do you still have any hopes to get back?
Should I have any?

I dont know Pat like others here, but he has answered and contributed to some of my questions, also I have learned from Pat in other posts aswell, all I can say is I think about what is going on and keep track of this thread.
To Patrick and all involved, thoughts, prayers and admiration, I am sure my words are mostly echoes from far better men than I......but I still felt compelled to add my thoughts.
God Bless you and yours
Chad M Smith

Hey Guys,

It's uncanny how a few posts from you guys lift me up. Without you I would be in a very different place. I seem to be needing less rest each day but I don't think I'm tolerating this chemo well enough to continue it's use. We'll see what happens tomorrow at my oncologists visit after getting the blood work done. I'm sure that my red blood cells took a massive hit and that's why I've been so tired. Of course, in every type of chemo the intent is to suppress the immune system so my white cells were hit hard too. In all fairness to the chemistry my stomach is improved some. I still have most of the complaints from fluid build up but cope well without any pain meds.

Barb is adjusting her work schedule so that she can be with me more. Our daughter, Amanda, comes over every morning. She offers to fix me breakfast and stays patiently, quietly, with me until Barb comes home. Barb is off today so we have made plans to visit a friend at his new home near the banks of the Snake River. This is a 1920's farm house on a sizeable acreage complete with barn and outbuildings. He's working feverishly to complete a dedicated music room in the second story of the barn. His new system he asked me to buy for him needs to be hooked up and dialed in and I would really like to hear the results. I just love this place. Sitting on the front porch with its southern exposure one can view the Owyhee Mountains still capped with a little snow. Whenever I sit there I want to listen to Crosby, Stills & Nash's "Our House". It just has that feel. It catapults me back in time to when Barb and I were first married living in the oldest farm house in Sarpy County Nebraska. The parties we used to have there!

My sister Mary called yesterday to say she is once again coming late this month and staying until early August. She is certainly proving to be her father's daughter. Dad was a wonderful example of caring and compassion. He always made time to comfort loved ones and Mary is doing exactly as he would have done. I wouldn't doubt that Mick and Steve will be here at the same time. As long as each of them have a comfortable place to sleep I'll be happy. They all know and like each other so if this happens it should be a lot of fun.

One of my fellow club members, an emergency room doc, called as well and wants to come visit as soon as I'm able. Glen is a sweet and caring guy. I helped him install a new cartridge on his Denon table recently and he's most happy with the results. He wants to have an anual Patrick Malone Vinly Night. Hearing this brought tears to my eyes and choked me up.

Zaikes, not to worry. I've seen you haven't been posting. I'll surely enjoy whatever tunes you send my way. Keep cheering Lance on. We are now at the stage in that race which will separate the men from the boys.

Howard, I think of you often. You sent me the Lance book which contained some gems I really needed to read. It doesn't matter that we have not physically met. You've shared yourself repeatedly in this thread and in private emails to an extent that I know you well. Thanks for being faithful. Also, you're spot on about this thread being the best of what the internet can be.

Lou, thank you for your post. I've been a lot of things in my life but always wondered if I'd leave anything meaningful behind. If you have gained anything from my thoughts expressed here and it has helped you, I'm pleased beyond anything I can say about it. Your uncle, father and friend have been blessed to have you.

Tvad, my heart cries out for the pain you must have felt with your father. I'm so sorry. Still, I'm sure he gave it the best shot he knew how and you will find comfort in that at some time. We're all different and can only do what is possible for each of us. Witnessing a death is being part of the most intimate of personal experiences. Those approaching this point realize it and react according to inner needs. I trust he left these earthly bounds in a way that worked for him. Peace to you.

Wc, you have experienced what we all dread. Coming here and offering comfort to me while reliving your personal tragedy proves to me you have arrived. I'm so sorry for your loss and can only hope that you gained much from your experience. I think so. My role, like your wife's, isn't much fun but deep down I know I've got the easier part. Your suffering continues. May it ease with each passing day. Thank you for your thoughts.

Larry, only a few of us are blessed with friends like you. Not a day goes by that I don't feel the vibes coming my way from Miami. I can't help but smile about the connection with your business and you as a person. What a perfect fit. For those that don't know, Larry is a major importer of flowers. Incredible flowers. Things of rare beauty. I urge you to post the story about your relationship with your growers here for others to read. It's amazing and says volumes about your character. You're probably too humble to do so and it's not my place to out you. Consider, this thread is about all of us, so please share this heartwarming story.

Swampwalker, give your wife a big hug for me. I've been cheering her on. The Taxol is an incredible drug which is responsible for the good times I've enjoyed and I'm so thankful. Thanks to you too for being there for her. And yes, this is an incredible community. Simply amazing.

Mark, your pain comes through clearly. I'm sorry for your struggles. It's hard to witness a loved one endure the poisons, maybe harder than enduring them personally. I have hope but not of this world with me in it in a physical sense. I hope that you can find some comfort within this thread as I have gained comfort here. I hope that you accept whatever the future unfolds in your life for you and your father. Love is the key.

Chad, thanks for your kind words. God's blessings are most welcome in the Lugnut household.

I'll let you guys know what happens at the doc's on Thursday. Wish me luck.

He he. Lance is where he needs to be right now to pull this off!!! Barring some accident history is being made. Go Lance!

Pat,

i'm on my third livestrong yellow bracelet now, having broken two through daily use. the first i wore was for my mom, the second for my mother in law. my most recent one, that i wear every day in every setting, i wear for you.

lance inspires me. you inspire me.

go lance! and pull lugnut over that next col!

-kelly