Upgrade from B&W 802D1 to Focal Utopia Scala Evo

That sucks. What a short-sighted dealer. I would name them and leave a review. 

I had a similar experience when I wanted to return speakers for obvious damages and I was told no. I could have gotten my credit card company involved but I didn't. It sounds like something is wrong with the Focals if they sound so lame. They should really blow your mind and if they don't then maybe a flaw would give you a reason to return them. 

Perhaps a different amp might resolve this issue? I was not initially impressed with my Focal Kanta when using a lower end amp, but after replacing it with McIntosh MA12000 - they sound good.

The dealer says that they are now considered used and a special order (grey base color). He says he can buy at cost a new pair with warranty for $20,000.

can you trade it in at another dealer like TMR and get B&Ws?

Not a great idea but not sure what else might work...

What don't you like about these speakers?

How long have you had them and how many hours listened? I would give them a chance you have nothing to lose. Of course it's gonna be a different sound.

Maybe breaking in would help? Maybe a therapist?