Great post!
I think as yopu that the room must be controlled to serve the system/speakers and our own ears/brain...
When i listen i want to feel the acoustics information from the live event translated by the trade-off choices perspectives of the recording engineer and perceive them in my room "resonating" conditions around me not in front of me between the speakers plane ..I had this in my first room...not in my smaller one now in nearfield listening so good it is...
The same is true for headphone, which i dislike generally, because very few are speaker like with an out of the head perception (The K340 optimized do it well ) ...
There are two schools of thought; those that want to be transported to the venue, whether it be a live performance or in the recording studio...,
and those who want to transport the venue to their listening room.
I am of the latter, and this is largely dictated by the room which is close to 5,000 cu ft. And, though symmetrical, with the exception of the two openings to one corner, the shape does not lend itself to optimal acoustics. Some have said that they have never been able to tame such a room.
"If you can’t beat them, join them."

