I think I know why I buy stuff and listen the way I do. I dislike the expression but I get more "drawn into" the music, and its performance, with my high end system than I do with (e.g.) my TV system.
I restarted my audiophilia in the mid '90s and put together pretty good systems for NYC and my weekend home in VT by about 2000. I did not change anything then until my VT digital stuff failed and a new CD/SACD player was installed in 2008.
On retirement in 2013 everything was consolidated into one system and I sold or gave away most of the left over components.
Since retirement I have had more time to listen to music, I am no longer training as a competitive cyclist and I cannot ski for 7 hours a day on weekends or play 36 holes of golf! So I started tweaking and upgrading to get closer to the performance.
I listen exclusively to "classical" music, a genre where there may be over 100 different recordings of the same work. There have been 160+ recordings of the cycle of Beethoven symphonies as an example; I suspect that this is not the case for other genres. Listening to different performances of a work is a pleasure, and having a system that clearly displays even subtle nuance of performance enhances the experience.
I will admit that, on occasion, I find myself listening to the quality of the sound rather than the music; typically this happens for a while after I have changed a component. This last year has seen major changes, a SACD player/DAC (K-01XDSE), power amp TU-8900 (then rolling tubes in that, WE 300Bs vs RCA 2A3s, Brimar vs Amperex ECC82s), cartridge (Koetsu RSP), new phono stage (Dos Locos) and new interconnects (Cardas Clear Reflection except for the Transparent Super Phono). I do try to distinguish between a critical listening session and a relax into the music session.
For me the details just add to the enjoyment, the sense of the space, feeling the vibrations of the wooden body of a string instrument and the like. So, I am an audiophile because listening to music brings me such peace and joy, and putting the system together has been FUN, its own voyage of discovery, just as is finding new music, or new performances of music I already know.

