@stuartk
That is what I mean... knowing what the real thing sounds like. However, you are making it sound way harder than it is.
One listens to lots of live music, individual instruments, in small combinations, in concert halls. Sure they are all different, but the mind is a wonderful thing, you can hear and learn what differences in location in a concert hall sound like, what different concert halls sound like. What pianos sound like, violins, echos in halls. I have heard a number of Stradivarius violins from twenty feet... they are unique... unbelievably sweet. I can hear them in recordings nearly instantly. I have been to hundreds of symphony concerts... some in different concert halls. Small venue jazz, as well as Rock and other electronic music concerts.
I know what the real thing sounds like. Then I have applied that general knowledge to curate my system. The fanatic part comes in the willingness to pursue understanding the real thing and in endlessly evaluating equipment an getting ever closer to the real experience... music that emotionally pulls you into the experience like the real instruments are there.
Will audiophile does not require lots of investment... folks this dedicated to a pursuit tend to spend a lot... it part of the disease. But just putting together a bunch of powerful or flashy audio equipment, or stacks of subwoofers does not make an audiophile... There are lots of way to enjoy the pursuit of high end audio... home audio.