If you have some compulsive bones in your body, get an audio test disk from Stereophile, or Radioshack, or download one off the internet and get a cheap digital sound meter from Radioshack and test where your main speakers roll off in your room. Then set the sub's crossover to cut off at 50Hz and measure the roll off as you go up in frequencies with the sound meter. Then set the sub to 80Hz and do the same thing. See which setting best compliments the actual measured roll off of the speakers and leave it there for now.
Once you have decided on the crossover setting, now use the sound meter and the test disk to calibrate the volume setting on the subwoofer to match the output of your speakers and amplifier as best you can. You will undoubtedly have bumps and valleys at different frequencies in your listening space - but just do the best you can. Try to average output over several frequencies in the center of the subwoofer's range and set the volume level to match the output for the average of several frequencies in the center of the bass band on your main speakers (well above the cutoff).
Now that you know intellectually what cut off should sound best and have calibrated the output levels of the sub and speakers, listen to a few of your favorite bass heavy (not necessarily low bass) pieces of music with the sub set both at both 50Hz and 80Hz and then do what Zieman says above, leave it where it sounds best to you!
I find this method works pretty well, and if the sound I like ends up being "colored" in some way, at least I know how and why. In some systems "flat" sounds GOOD, and in other systems "flat" sounds just, well... FLAT.