Where has the respect gone?

I have been working with a local teenager that is interested in hi-fi. After running through the basics of system building and explaining why it is typically better to deal with "dedicated audiophiles" from Agon rather than Ebayer's, we found an amplifier that was within his budget. I had them directly contact the selling party via Agon's emailer and submit an offer to buy the unit. The Agon seller agreed to accept the offer plus shipping fees and forwarded their address to send payment to. The budding audiophile then responded back with questions to the seller about packing and shipping for the item as i had told them that it was a very heavy piece ( 60+ lbs ) and that taking care of such matters before it was shipped was very important.

After not hearing back from the seller, my "audio student" asked me to drop the seller an email in order to speed up the process. Before doing so, he forwarded me all of the email correspondence between them so that i knew what was going on. Everything looked good as far as i could tell and just figured that the seller had been tied up for a day or two. The next response back from the seller was that he was unaware of any transaction taking place and there was a deal pending on the amp with someone else.

Needless to say, i felt really bad for my "audio student", having picked an "audiophile knucklehead" to conduct his first transaction with. Given that the Agon seller had two positive feedbacks, i had hoped that they were going to be easy to work with. After reviewing the emails, i can honestly say that there was a commitment made between the two and the seller was at fault on this one. Not only was this "audio newcomer" let down in this transaction, we all were as audiophiles and members of Agon.

Like i said in a recent forum thread, "welcome to Audio Review take II". Sean
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I am sure I have been a jerk here on more than one occation. Annoying, I suppose. Never with intent, but perhaps because of general ignorance and carelessness. Most of the time I will observe this- question it (in retrospect) and I do feel sorry when I feel I may have acted in an offensive manner, especially when I have offered an opinion where I am ill equipt to offer one. enthusiasm overrides reason, and I know this is not helpful, and I know it can even be annoying. So, I officially apologize to all those I have offended here. Truly! But my point is, that even as I know myself I know that I am not alone in this sort of behavior. People can act in a disrespectful manner without intent- would, in fact, be upset if they thought they were doing so. Whereas I may not know very much about audio (sigh), I know this is true. I have always been impressed by the way members here seem to understand this, and have by large shown great tolerance and understanding when confronted with disrespectful behavior. Asking for respect is just another way in which people act respectfully. Demanding it is not. If you are asking where the respect has gone, you might also take time to consider where you yourself have placed it.

Ezekiel, thanks for the opening. To be honest, I've been posting only for the past year on Agon, though I've intermittently followed threads over the past three or four years. While some exchanges have become contentious, the great bulk are engaging and full of useful information or insight. My profession requires that I scan weblogs on a regular basis and the behavior at some of those sites are much more discomforting. Obviously, several things are at play on BBs where the members get to know each other, at least in the electronic sense: familiarity (often) breeds contempt, and, there's no accounting for taste (in latin, de gustibus non est disputandem). I agree with Lugnut that intelligent, measured - and whenever possible - kind responses will result in more productive exchanges. And this is about high end audio - if only we could convince our politicians to debate more important issues in a rational, dialectic fashion.

Interesting reading and thanks for the kind words!

I have a member sending me nasy emails for years. He left me a - feedback thinking I was somebody else he realized his mistake and retracted but still sends me insulting emails. Other members dont seem to read the add ask ? like does it have a box or where are you located what is the condition ,these are all covered in the add .But I still answer.Then you get the bottom dollar guys ,you list a very low firm price.And they ask many many ? like above, only to follow with whats your bottom dollar. As a child I sold antiques and live bait later used motorcycles .People act dif. when they want to purchase .I havent seen a increase , its just human nature.