Where has the respect gone?

I first signed on to AudiogoN in '97 or '98. I don't remember exactly when but the site was quite civil. Then within about a year, it totally fell apart. You could write absolutely nothing without somebody flaming you. The more you posted, and became known, it was like certain people were laying in wait for you so they could make some sniping remark. And there was no moderation of the posts. It got so bad that I just tuned out for about five years. I came back a year or two ago and I find it's greatly improved. Maybe it's just the perspective of time between now and then, but I think that it's a lot better now. However, it still took a year after my return before I felt it was worth my time to try posting again. Now that I've started posting, and opened myself up to attack, I don't find it's a problem yet. However, there certainly have been a couple of times when criticism or comments to my posts seem to be personal more than fair differences of opinion. A couple of days ago, I took some heat and ridicule in a thread for suggesting that people should be honest. The positive side is that now I know the usernames of some people that I certainly will never do business with.

I think that we could help ourselves a lot if we point out the trash. A moderator may let a flame through if it's a one-off event. However, a one-off flame to you and a one-off flame to somebody else and a one-off flame to another person turns into a pattern that identifies a particular individual. If the same name is brought to the moderator's attention again and again, they become noticed and perhaps tossed off the site. However, if an intemperate post is not brought to the moderator's attention, all the individual flames get lost in the thousands of posts. I have no problem at all with ratting out on the trash, because they drive away the good people to the detriment of us all. It's happened to this site before.

Thanks Ezekiel for your post,I totally agree with all you said.I haven't had anybody use bad language yet but sure did find rudeness.There is no reason for it.
Best to all
George

Been here a while and yes, since a few of the old troublemakers got the boot;it has been mostly calm. I'm not sure if you are refering to rudeness in the threads or dealing with buyers and sellers.---BUT, I guess rudeness is everywhere. Actually,we all have our own yardstick for our own behavior or judging the behavior of others. I have bought and sold and learned much from the site. To get what I have now I would have spent much more and would have had a hard time selling my old gear. Do love this sight??-- Well,U-betcha.

Ezekiel,

You're correct. My suggestion is to kill them with kindness. I actually have seen this work recently. There is a certain poster that is very knowledgeable but very argumentative and insultiing with highly respected members here. In this case English may not be his first language which adds to the problem. The short story is that he apppeared to attack a respected members opinion. That member simply replied that he was sorry if he was incorrect rather than escalating it into an argument. Surprisingly, the attacker came back expressing an apology if he came across too harshly. This guy had been criticized repeatedly for his aggressive behavior to no avail but one incident of backing away from an argument did it. In this case we may be on the road to recovery.

Let's just keep things in perspective here too. For every jerk that waits in the wings to pounce on a different opinion there are multiple wonderful people that contribute quietly and with respect. We simply need to ignore the twisted types or be nice to them. Remember, it does take two to fight.

Counterpoint

While there are a few bad apples here and there on Audiogon, I've been impressed by the respect, helpfulness of other members in threads and in transactions. Yes, lets point out and banish those who use profanity, excessively rude or just plain dishonest, but let's also acknowledge how well the community works. I'm continually impressed by the integrity of this online group.