I have a serious phobia problem with cleaning records

I listen to 100 terabytes of hard drives with a Topping D50s and Audioquest cables .

I had my mind set on Nitty Gritty 1.5 Fi to the Mini Pro but not sure of the differences. There’s that 2.5 that has 2 pumps I don’t understand that.

I buy new and vintage records... I have issues more with vintage used depending the condition they arrive in.

What happened with me was I kept using one of those kits you buy at radio shack or the red bottle of mysterious liquid with the wood brush and cloth bit ... Where you spray the LP and you like have very little patience thinking it’s dry by using the cloth... Then you put on the LP and that’s the first LP it’s horrendous static ... Then freak out ... Cause it’s just major static thinking what did I do it didn’t sound like this before. You take out a random record do nothing to do it but wipe the dust off it with a different cloth you put the LP on you experience the exact same static you had with the LP you think you were trying to clean and every record after that till you don’t play records for months cause you think you ruined the records the turntable the stylus the cart the tone arm everything till the stylus maybe dries or whatever or you simply ruined the cart .. . Now you put static on your stylus cart maybe thru the tone arm... That’s why I say ............... Phobia ................. So to over come this horror with cleaning records I want a machine to do the whole thing but I don’t want the same results... I liked CD’s where you didn’t have to do anything... But you know that whole story... I really don’t play records I transfer them to digital because well they sound better 75 percent of the time... Sometimes a CD can kick a record out of the park.... It all depends... But records for me many of the time you have to do yourself because the sound just sounds better and usually it’s artist and a album no one cares to transfer to digital it’s a whole science ... Then there’s my vinyl rig not sure what I’m doing with that either... I really like when " rippers " deal with it and do it better cause they have this amazing discipline I been dealing with internet vinyl ripping phenomena since 2007. Before 2006 I was buying CD’s off amazon as stores went out of business one by one ...  And records were over for me in 1987 when I was given a CD player as a present and that went on for 20 years  CD's thousands of CD's .. Then internet 1995 then fiber optic cable 2008 the resurgence of vinyl... But you I'm sure you know the trouble with all that... Still going on today .... I won't go into the details... This was enough ...

And one more thing that really drives me mad.... When you buy a sealed LP and all this stuff appears on the LP can you get that off the LP... I bought sealed LP's that we're 50 years old and when I undid the old seal Jesus the thing had these spots of whatever it was all over the LP... And no fungal record cleaner could get them out or off and then right liquid equals static for me anyway.  I don't buy them anymore.  But even if they're 5 years old sometimes vinyl has those spots or gunk or whatever it is on the sealed LP's ... Even on used LP's I find that ...  Vinyl drives me nuts ..  Half the time not but when it happens it just sounds like a mess.

I’m totally for buying a machine... I was really thinking about the Nitty 1.5fi or 2.5fi not really the mini pro ... If it came to that I would get that... I can pay the thing off in 2 years ... It’s not about money it’s about doing it right especially those chemicals there’s so many out there I’m not sure what the right one or just water I don’t know I’m not very educated in this or never was being playing records for 50 years... And I just want it simple and it that it works correctly then not....  Or pay to have someone do it... But knows what they're doing ...

I just received the Nitty Gritty Mini Pro 2 got never used for 600 BUCKS not sure if it’s a POS or what.. It was never used but from the guy at Nitty Gritty the machine is 10 years old from the serial number and used what was left of the Pure 2 that came with the machine that was also 10 years old how long are these fluids good for I have a bottle here of MOFI PLUS Enzyme cleaner but was told never put like that type of fluid in the one tank just the Pure 2 only that means manual brushing with the MOFI brush I have probably contaminated I also found this spray bottle of PFAN STAT to eliminate static I can’t remember if that was crap or if the MOFI liquid I have is crap or if the Nitty Gritty chemicals is crap . I used it on a few records. And then played them ... I think I heard a difference in sound but the crackles pops tics were all still there. I felt like throwing the machine out the window thru the glass... I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. And a degritter and that Kirmuss guy sure the machine is the easy part but then it’s like you shave the record manually like 2 times... He’s been called the snake oil in the business. Also the vacuum works like any other but the pump and dispenser doesn’t really coat the record like your black painting a record with fluid... I don’t maybe I should quit LP’s and go back to singing in the shower. Or what I should of done sent 50 records to one of these professional record cleaners let them do for 200 bucks and been done with it.. But no crackles tics or pops. Scratches well the record is ruined. I don’t play those. Then there’s declicking ... Forget that... This is too much as it is... When you don’t what your doing you go mad. Seems like the 2.5 FI - XP with the two pumps it's cheaper but does it do more. Why does that machine have two pumps and the Mini Pro 2 has one I know cleans both sides at the same time... Maybe I should kidnap Kirmuss and make him do all my records since he seems to know everything while banging that bunny on his head.