Dealer behavior issue


I would like opinions as to whether members feel that I’m being unreasonable to think
that a very popular dealer has not performed so well on my behalf, the customer. Last summer I ordered an expensive ARC amp understanding that delivery would most likely be in Oct which was fine with me. I did make a commitment which I understand.
My situation seriously changed due to my wife’s health but I agree that’s not his problem.
At this point I requested to pay a handsome restocking fee, 2-3k, can’t remember the amount but he was cavalier saying why would I want to do this?
So that was that.
The unit is about to be delivered and as I’ll immediately resell the unopened box I gave him a last offer.
The transaction had a current unit model trade in that retailed for 8k and is a favorite product of his and he carries it.
Yesterday I offered to give him this unit as the restock fee with 90 days to fully refund me.
I have received no response so he didn’t like my offer which is his right. I have spent over 40k retail over the last two years with him with no problems.
So in the end I changed my mind which is the lowest form of audio behavior. Was I foolish to think this guy would accommodate me? The product I offered to GIVE him will fly out his door for $4k .
This is just business as usual ?
4425
@4425...……………………...

I have dealt with dealers all over the USA and my worst experience has been with a dealer close to me that is located in the New England area. I had been buying from this dealer since the late 70’s and spent over 20K during that time. I also brought a good friend to the dealer and introduced him to the owner and over the years, my friend has spent well over 50K in that store. Back in 2010 time frame, I bought a SACD player from the dealer and needed a cable for it. Needless to say I paid triple retail for the cable due to them shortening the length for me. This wasn’t an 8K catastrophe like your deal is, but it hurt just the same.  32 years of customer loyalty lost over  3-4 hundred dollars. The owner who I knew well never responded to my email or calls. Your dealer should be ashamed as should mine. I no longer do business with that dealer and once drove 600 miles round trip to the next closest dealer for something I was buying, just to not give that dealer any more money.
Personally I would take the unit and resell as a new in box and never do business with that dealer again. 
There are always three sides to every story - yours, mine and the truth which is a combination of your
and mine. That being said the fact that you have spent $50k with this dealer and asked him to help you with a difficult situation and he was not very willing tells me he either has more business than he can deal with and doesn’t mind losing you as a customer or he is not a very good businessman and lacks an understanding of what customer service really means. I would hate to lose your business and would not wanting you using the internet to tell everyone how much I failed to satisfy a reasonable request. That is devastating to any business let alone and industry that is so small. I would definitely dump him and find a better dealer.
I would take Joe’s advice above, get it done and focus on other important issues.  It really is a shame however since you have promoted this dealer in past threads. My guess is that he is in Sarasota, Florida.
Many years ago I had a similar scenario with a local dealer. I had bought a lot of gear from this guy..always at full retail. One day I walked into his store and was looking at a couple of records. His sales person asks me if I am going to keep looking at the records or am i going to be buying something; he then tells me if I am not buying something to get out of the store! With that, i ask for the manager/owner...whom i had always bought from. I get the same basic response from this guy...buy or leave! So, guess what, i left and never came back. After a few years, the dealer went into insolvency and closed his doors. For some reason, I get some pleasure out of that.
If I were the OP, I would take the amp, resell it for whatever I could get for it...and make sure that I never dealt with this dealer again...and made sure that all in my sphere did exactly the same thing.