Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

Ray, in response to your question in new postings, copied and pasted here at this site: Does anyone know of any collections of audio-related humor on the web? I miss the Lirpa articles in Audio (I know there are two listings on Audioreview). This will bring this thread up to the top, where you may access them, and hopefully post something of your own. Albert

OK, to show I'm in the spirit of this whole thing, here is my offering. The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, "Hey! We need to get back!" No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled." A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."

That story about the Jingle Cats is hysterical! I have a huge white Persian cat, and I've played this CD every Christmas and New Years for the last three years. My guests laugh, and my cat listens with a strange look on her face. It is priceless, and lucky for me, the cat is female and prefers to look disgusted, rather than pee on anything.

In my days of retail, a customer came into our audio store with a (then current) tube type receiver that was producing distorted output. The (other) older salesman that I respected so much says to the customer, "No need to send it to repair just yet, let me have a look at it." He then proceeds to unscrew and remove the wooden case and look inside for signs of trouble. Then, suddenly he picks it up, turns it upside down, and a crusty dead moth falls out on to the glass counter top. "There is the problem" he calls out. By this time the customer is looking intently into the inner workings of this receiver and asks, "Is that really it?" My co- worker looks long at him and says, "Yes, of course that is the problem, the engineer has died." By the way, this is a TRUE story, this guy was crazy.

Years ago, when I worked for an audio store that was part of a large shopping center, we had a reoccurring problem every night. Parents would leave their children to play with our musical instruments, Hi Fi gear, and music software, while they shopped for clothing or whatever in stores elsewhere in the mall. When closing time came (9:00 PM) most of us were tired and ready to leave, and frustrated by the troop of young stragglers. Sometimes we stayed as late as 9:30, waiting for Moms and Dads to come back and claim their children. One night when we were already ten minutes past closing, and our manager was frustrated by the usual bunch of children in the store, he surprised us all. The telephone system in the store could become a public address system, by pressing the correct keys. Suddenly we heard his voice, loud and clear, and with believable urgency, "Don't turn them Dobermans loose Clem, there's still little kids in here!" We closed less than three minutes later, with all the children outside our door, standing on the benches in the mall, "safely" waiting for their parents.

One year at CES, when we were making our way down one of the hallways, the cardboard signs sticking out from the doorways indicate who is displaying in each of the rooms. One year the signs lined up, in such a way as to be irresistible. I commented in my best Irish Spring/Scottish accent, "Aye, we've got some very MANLEY amps in there! And to add to the confusion, Those BERNING amps must have caused the FRIED speakers!" Sorry, this is my kind of humor.

Even more money saved, now he doesn't even have to buy a suit to look "impotent."

After a minute or so she turned to me with a very astonished look on her face and exclaimed in a rather loud voice "how do they DO that?!" She was referring to the speakers and their ability to soundstage and image.

That's why those of us that love music buy the hardware we do. The hardware is only important in that it serves the music.

Great story.

Non audio but funny

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/jLI6VA40oUs?autoplay=1&vq=hd720&rel=0&showinfo=0&start=0&end