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mother passed away - pro recording help needed

i don't know how to write this request without sounding pathetic but my mother of 62 just passed away due to a misdiagnosis and a horrible hospital mistake (many, in fact.) I'm an artist (mostly dramatic writing but also in various versions of performance art) and i have been breaking down in the most random situations because of my sorrow. I've never been witness to such grief and i think it's worth documenting (for incorporation in some later work, i'm not sure what yet.) i'd like to record myself in these moments and want the best possible sound but it must be portable since i never know when i'm going to freak out. can someone please recommend some system including a mic? I don't like mp3 or minidisc. is there something better? a dat, maybe? regardless, i'm not able to research anything under the circumstances so a detailed recommendation including all the gear i need (including prices for used and new, if possible) would be very much appreciated.

I know others have gone through tragic loses but i hope all others reading this escape such an experience. there are no words to describe the sadness. my mother, like most mothers, was a beautiful person and i'll never be the same without her.

thank you,
dennis

p.s. please excuse me if i don't answer responses or express thanks for them...it's very hard for me to just exist right now but i will certainly be appreciative of any help, whether i'm able to respond it here or not.
kublakhan
audiobugged
528 posts
 
My Deepest Heartfelt Sympathies Dennis, as such a tragic loss did not have to happen. I know having lost my Father at a young age of 55 three years ago under similar circumstances, that in time the wounds to the heart will heal. The early stage of grief is the toughest period to understand and overcome. But you never really loose a Parent. Your Mother will be with you daily, and in time your current sorrow will move towards cheerful thoughts of rememberence. I am truely sorry, & my thoughts are with you. I can assure you that it will get easier my friend.
sonicbeauty
324 posts
 
Dennis,

I understand how you feel, as I also lost my mother a year ago. She entered the hospital for a certain operation and everything was fine. Can you beleive that on day 3 after her operation, she had almost recovered fully, and we were all in her hospital room, I had brought my Epson projector and we all enjoyed family photos projected on the wall, and celebrating her ''recovery''and looking forward to her return home. Something unexpected and weird happened the next day - her condition worsened and she passed away 5 days later. In my estimation, a mistake by the hospital staff also. I was torn between sadness and madness and frustration. 5 days later still, everything was over in a flash with the funeral service and all, it it was just like a bad dream.

However, many people pass on much to soon - kids, babies. Accidents, desease, drunk drivers. It does not make our loss easier to take - but it helps put it in perspective when our parents go, although there no way to prepare for such events.

I really beleive that the departed - and this shortly after they have left us - do come back and provide an inner voice that is conforting, and for many, actual dreams at night that are so real and vivid that you do feel good and feel a ''presence''. I think we must give a chance to those departed the chance to come back and enrich our lives in a different,spiritual, but no less meaningfull way. And they do come back when some of the emotively-charged dust has settled......Good luck and don't give up ! Think of what your mother would appreciate that you do right now...probably to take care of yourself and live life to the fullest, she will help you if you let her.... Regards, Mike.
sogood51
2,157 posts
 
Thank you Lugnut.

Dave
donjf
50 posts
 
Hi Dennis, You have my sympathy and prayers.
God bless you, Don
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